Love risks (part two)

by Craig on November 16, 2010

So I argued with God yesterday. And he let me. He’s good that way.

 

But now I’ve started something. And my words are on display – They lie naked as two guilty souls in a perfect garden.  I can’t turn back now – I could have before. Isn’t that the way, you push out the old fears just to make room for the new house guests.

 

But I’ve prepared for this. I’ve done homework. I’ve received excellent training on how to write from some magnificent women whom I’ve never met. You know who you are. I’ve told you.

 

I’m never ready to take the big step.

 

But yesterday I pressed the publish button. I did it again today. Weebles wobble but they don’t fall down.

I have asked for God’s will in this endeavor.

 

Then that’s what you’ll get.”

 

But I’m still a little like that kid waiting at the bus stop – first day of kindergarten. Well, technically the second. So that makes Our Lord the mom in this analogy – waiting there with me.

 

“You’ll make friends.

I promise.

You’ll still come home to me.

Now scoot.”

 

I’ve never been a mom. But am I right in guessing that as the child goes off merrily to school, it’s sometimes the mom who rushes home to cry?

 

The thing that you are afraid of, is that which you should do. And the thing need not be a big thing. Actually love is usually clothed in the more subtle, more common garb.  It’s maybe best displayed in the simple and quiet stuff of life.

Love arrived in a manger.


 

 

The big, momentous risks are hard. The uncelebrated ones are sometimes harder.

Is there someone to whom I should say I love you?

Silence might be the answer.

Someone to whom I should say sorry?

Sorry doesn’t guarantee forgiveness.

 

So here’s the conclusion of part two – of the first of many loves. It blasted me so hard I almost couldn’t lean into it. But I did, and it came to my rescue. My first posts are done.

I didn’t play it safe.

Yesterday I was afraid that nobody would read these words. But clearly a few truly loving people did. I’m humbled, and grateful. Now comes the new house guest. I’m a great starter – a rotten finisher. Now to  keep running this race one post at a time. The wrong voices say, “Big deal, nice start, we know how you’ll probably finish though…

 

He came.

He saw.

He was conquered.

That’s him over there in that pile of ashes.


I recognize those voices, they’ve bullied me most of my life. The wrong voices have plans. But the new voices will win. I hit publish again today.  I did it – two days in a row now. I had to – it was the same love both days.

 

Now, here’s the part of deepintolove that I think will be so much fun. It’s the part where everybody takes a turn at doing this little teeny piece of love just for one day.

 

That means I’m done for the day. I don’t need to confront another fear all day long. I can just lay here under the blankets and ignore the monsters in the closet.

It’s the beauty of taking all of love one baby step at a time.

 

“See, that wasn’t so hard now was it?”

Says the God with the off sense of humor.

 

 

To anyone reading this,

(Bueller? … Bueller?).

The challenge of love for today is to find that one risk that God would be pleased that you took.

No silly things.

No running with scissors.

 

Maybe it’s a small thing that really isn’t. Maybe it’s a monumental thing that’s not as big as it looks. But now is the time. I’m all done with my risk. So what will yours be?

 

(Bueller? … Bueller?)

 

I’m not so afraid today of an empty seat or two. Because this love did its work on me. That’s how these little pieces of love do their thing.

So the challenge of  love today is to ask, “What’s the move?” ” What’s the risk?”

I hope you take that step. I’ve already prayed that you will. And you only need to do one today, just like I did. If you do more, then you are way ahead of the curve. But then you raise the curve for us slackers,

so maybe take it easy on us.

 

Tomorrow we can all go back to hiding in the shadows. But I’m thinking that won’t happen. The thing about loving in baby step is that each step lingers, no matter how far down the path we travel.

{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }

sara @ it's good to be queen November 16, 2010 at 5:29 am

craig, you did it!
you took a brave step.
and now I am proud of YOU.
this is a good place to find your words.
i can see our Father doing something very special here….
God’s richest blessings on you,
Sara

Reply

Craig November 16, 2010 at 6:45 am

I am absolutely beaming. I just finished the official second post on the twin site to this one (deepintoscripture.com). Just finished it minutes ago. Yup – there are twin sites. A man’s grasp should exceed his reach right?

Sara – you probably know how much I heart your words. I may have let it slip out once, maybe more. Who counts:) You are one of the magnificent writers that have changed the way I use words. Look. Even in your comment. It’s not just plain prose. It has lyrics, and poetry. See – that’s what changed everything for me – women who write like you do.

I can’t tell you how honored I am, how blessed, that you would find your way here.

I want this place to be special – to be Our Father’s place.

thank you — 149 different ways

God Bless you and the hot fudge sellers and the man who took you for his bride – enjoy your new home. And thank you – really – thank you.

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Sharon November 16, 2010 at 6:45 am

“I recognize those voices, they’ve bullied me most of my life.”
Yup, I have lived most of my life as a quitter. Bullied by those ‘voices’. And when I have a week or weeks where I feel I don’t have anything to say… they tell me my blog is a failure.
I’ve the ebook because I went to Relevant and MET her. Her Relevant her keynote was God telling me not to listen to those ‘voices’. It was a great encouragement. Sorry you can’t go, next year, its for women only…. hmmm…. maybe you could dress in drag? Barney Fife style? JUST KIDDING!!!
I may have her book but she actually READ your words and commented on them. I can only think of one person that I read all the time that has ever commented and that is Billy Coffey. He is the only other (cause now I am reading yours) MAN blog I read.
Keep fighting those fears.

Reply

Craig November 16, 2010 at 6:57 am

Sharon – thank you. Seriously. I might try out this Billy Coffee guy – if he’s good enough for you well…
And those voices – they’re insidious aren’t they? Grrrrrr. I really heart your site – a lass – walking a path with Jesus – awesome. I knew a lass once, that’s what I called her – she liked that.. Her dad called her little lassie – it stuck – Who’d ‘uv think I’d find another one.

And I know – you MET her – ooooooof – grrrrrr. Lucky!

She is grace isn’t she – you met her – you felt the grace didn’t you? I bet you did. Not fair.:/

The voices of the better angels – I think you and me both better listen closer to those.

God Bless – the sun is rising here – and you made it brighter. Thank you for reading me. Really.

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Sharon November 16, 2010 at 8:32 am

I don’t want this to come across as idolizing. It was a true blessing to meet her in person. She is just as grace-filled in person as she is on her blog. It was nice to know she was ‘real’.

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Sharon November 16, 2010 at 10:05 pm

Sorry, wearing out my welcome today but I thought you might like this: http://www.billycoffey.com/blog/

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Sharon November 16, 2010 at 10:07 pm

And my dad is the only one who refers to me as a lass, his lassie. We are of Scottish descent and like things celtic, gaelic, highland…

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Craig November 16, 2010 at 11:28 pm

there is no wearing out of this welcome. I’m thrilled you here. All smiles. No worries. I guessed the Scottish thing.

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Amber November 16, 2010 at 7:13 am

Craig,

I came across your comment on Sharon’s blog and was moved by it, because I agree with you. Once I began counting my blessings and reading aholyexperience my heart changed. She wrote words that my heart couldn’t speak.

I, too, can’t wait to get the book and was bummed I was not at the Relevant Conference.

I am glad to see you have joined the blogging world. Keep fighting the fears. Like so many other, I often think I am wasting my time or that no one is reading and why should they? Then, I get the one comment that reads, “Your post really spoke to my heart…….It is what I needed to hear today…”

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Craig November 16, 2010 at 7:41 am

Don’t know what to say – that was so nice. I’m not gonna leave a long reply here because I need to run over to your site. Yup – that’s it – short and sweet – can’t wait to get there – God Bless you – and I see a heart worth reading – who am I to judge these things – all of two posts me – but wait – that’s 2 posts on both of my blogs – that’s 4 posts – that’s experience – yup – anyway have to run – have to go read somebody – But really really really – thank you – clicking now…

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