Love Often Marries (pt 1)

by Craig on January 26, 2011

There is only one good reason why a never married guy should write on the subject of marriage.

Ann Voskamp said so.

On Wednesdays I link with Ann and many others…

Ann said this:

For the Next Three Weeks, leading up to Valentine’s Day: The Practice of Marriage Might we explore the practice of marriage? We look forward to your thoughts, stories, ideas….

Having never been married I was going to opt out. My opinions of marriage are all theoretical. But I do have this Seminary degree, I heart marriage, and I heart the Bible – and the Bible isn’t theory, it is not me, it’s what God has to say – so here we go…

Isn’t the best place always to start with the words of Our Lord?

Mark 10:6, “But from the beginning of creation “God made them male and female”

a fit,

a match,

and a set belonging together.

Adam was lonely, he needed a partner. (GEN 2:18) I get this, I still long for a bride to cherish.

So God made two – so they could be made one.

and a divine union takes place – husband, bride, God.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 says:

Two are better than one…If the one falls, the other will lift his companion.  Woe to the solitary man!  For if he should fall he has no one to lift him up.  So if two sleep together they keep each other warm.  How can one alone keep warm?  Where a lone person may be overcome, two together can resist.  A three-ply cord is not easily broken.

Husband, bride, God.

Genesis 2:18 speaks of a “help-mate”. It’s two words in the Hebrew.

The first, means “helper”.

Someone to make life better.

Someone to aid in every effort.

Ecclesiastes 36:24, “He who acquires a wife gets his best possession, a helper fit for him and a pillar of support”.

I’d love a bride to lift up, and be lifted up by.

To warm, and be warmed by.

To support and help – and be helped by.

The second word is means “opposite him”.

It means that husband and bride should be counterparts:

Corresponding closely,

resembling one another,

completing and complimenting.

It’s a beautiful picture of marriage. No? Where each one lifts, warms, supports, helps, resembles, compliments and completes the other?

And then what was one, becomes two, united by a third, and maybe, maybe more.

Gen 2:24 “…a man leaves his father and mother…” (v24a).

“Family” changes.





all become directed to a new immediate family.  Ties to the “old” family remain, but primary devotion is transferred to the “new”.

and a man? he now “…clings to his wife.” (V24).

If I marry, my only female best friend is to me my bride.

There is so much more the Bible has to say about marriage. Thank you, Ann, for causing me to explore it all. My heart is already thumping. So much so, that tomorrow I’m going to continue. I’m not going to wait for next Wednesday. So if you are here from Ann’s please come back tomorrow for part two…

oh and everyone else too please.

And everyone forgive me for not reading you this week. I’m at Blissdom, learning how to do this better. It’s for me, I’ll be honest, but I heart you guys – so it’s for you too.

In God’s love


{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }

gina reid January 26, 2011 at 10:36 am

Well, I agree with everything, but the best friend part. My hubby is my best friend, but so is my brother. My husband and daughter are my inner circle family, but my brothers will forever fill my heart. Unconditional love should come from all.


Craig January 27, 2011 at 12:22 am

by the way everyone, that’s my sister :) lms


Anonymuss January 26, 2011 at 7:11 pm

Having been exposed to a range of teaching/thinking on marriage-including what I consider to be very scary and unfreeing notions of husbands having anywhere from a smidgen to a whole lot of ‘advantage’ over wives, I am curious to see what you share here. This can be frightening territory to persons who have lived within certain types of familial and church systems. May have to peek through my fingers at your next posts…even reading certain words and terms can cause me to break out into a cold, clammy sweat and feel light-headed or nauseous.

What you wrote in today’s post felt safe and good.


Craig January 27, 2011 at 12:23 am

you’ll probably be able to open your eyes :)


Debbie January 27, 2011 at 12:58 am

Can we hold hands, A, through this? :) Deep breathes may be needed too. I got to the point that I just can’t read marriage material. I’m trusting you Craig, on this one and will be back. God bless you and your sis . . .and your future bride if that’s part of His plan for you.


Anonymuss January 27, 2011 at 1:50 am

Debbie, yes, and what a kind invitation! Two of us are trusting you, Craig…taking turns peeking….and I second Debbie’s blessings!


susan January 27, 2011 at 11:27 pm

It’s kinda funny to read this. I always looked at my folks as the perfect,the lifers,what I wanted to be. 65.5yrs, yessirree. I wrote a thesis in logic in college,tho, and from a logical perspective, could not find in favor of marriage being a viable institution. Got an A,a freshman in a Jr class,taught by a grad level prof. Go figure. The ex found it when we were packing up, read it, and asked why I didn’t follow my own thesis? Because it has nothing to do with logic. And I still look at my folks, daddy protecting mom in their w/chairs, trying to push his own&help her too. And it’s not logical or possible. But he still tries and she still wants to hold hands and cant remembr his name. That’s what it’s about. -s-


Debbie January 28, 2011 at 12:25 am

Susan . . .that is so sweet and beautiful about your parents. Not all things make sense, do they? And I’m so glad. God bless you and your family with heaps of His love!


Lisa notes... February 2, 2011 at 1:05 pm

Backtracking over from Pt 3…
Wanted to encourage you that you don’t have to be married to share good advice about marriage, especially words from the Author of Marriage himself (who in one sense never had a human bride in his 33 years on earth anyway…)


Craig February 2, 2011 at 1:20 pm

You are kind Lisa – as long as I stick to what He said – I’m fine. Thank you. :)


Amber February 12, 2011 at 5:55 pm

Sam and I both were reading….thank you for these reminders. We have been blessed to experience little, to no, divorce in our families. However, one side honored their God covenant and the other side is to stubborn to give up. I believe it is more than that “for the other side,” but God has used His Word and experiences in our lives to help us view marriage from a different perspective.


Craig February 12, 2011 at 6:03 pm

Thank you Amber – and Sam – a welcome bro hug to you. God bless the two of you in your marriage – I’ve said a special prayer today – for Samber.


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