Love is there, mountaintop high or valley low (pt2)

by Craig on April 26, 2011

Just that morning, I chatted with Our Lord about this part of His prayer – the “protect us from the Evil One” part. And we talked about how all around are spiritual beings, angels and demons, a whole spiritual realm I can’t see with these two round eyes.

This is part two. It stands up pretty well on it’s own but it’s a whole lot better when it goes along with part one first (that would be here).

This part of the Lord’s Prayer is about acknowledging the spiritual reality around us – and then asking for protection. But I got sidetracked, and I didn’t.

That’s interesting now – looking back.

So how can I be all fill-y with the Spirit one moment – and be all leaked out the next?

It could have been the circumstances,
it could have been others,
it could have been me,
It could have been “help”, so to speak.

I was alone, but maybe I wasn’t so alone.

When it gets like this I think things like, “How can I ever write anything useful.” “Who am I to think I can write at all?” “Who am I to think anyone would want to read?”

It got downright dark
downright oppressive
and heavy
and thick
and dreary.

And I curled up in a ball.
I don’t have children like most of you so I was able to do this.
And I slept – kind of.
I slept a lot – kind of.

Then I ate my stress.
There may or may not have been ice cream involved,

and chocolate chip cookie dough.

And now I remember this…

It’s him against his enemy – hundreds of his enemy.
And he throws down the gauntlet,
“You give it your best and I’ll give it mine”
And he’s courageous as can be – and bold – and confident – and strong.

“And I’ll let you all take the first shot.” he adds.

Is he crazy? Or crazy bold?

Then the enemy self destructs. They embarrass themselves. And he gets so brazen that he mocks them in their sad efforts to win.

And then before a crowd of thousands he shows them up.

And he wins…

Big.

And then…

Jezebel.

Yes…

that Jezebel.

She says like the Queen of Hearts that she was,

“Off with his head.”

 

And Elijah,
fresh from his mountaintop experience,
runs away. (1Kings 18)

How can he be all fill-y with the Spirit one moment, and be all leaked out the next?

It could have been the circumstances,
it could have been others,
it could have been himself,
It could have been “help”, so to speak.

He was alone, but maybe he wasn’t so alone.

And he might have thought things like: “How can I ever prophecy anything useful?” “Who am I to think I can prophecy at all?” “Who am I to think anyone would want to listen?”

And it got downright dark
downright oppressive
and heavy
and thick
and dreary.

And so he curled up in a ball.
He didn’t have children, like most of you, so he was able to do this.
And he slept – kind of.
He slept a lot – kind of.

And there’s more – I have a plan this week.

I want to learn how to deal with this, really well.

So I can remember it really well,

because this “darkness after light” thing has happened before,

and I’d be silly to think it’ll never happen again.

I want these posts out there, to look back to when it does.

Please come back – there’s a part three just ahead…

{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }

Brooke April 26, 2011 at 9:56 am

Wow… you’re hitting the nail on the head for me. I haven’t been good about journaling prayers, requests and answers. But think I better write this one down! Thanks.

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Craig April 26, 2011 at 2:06 pm

I am humbled, really I am. Just humbled. I heart humble – and joy – you have done both. Thank you Brooke. God Bless.

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Cora April 26, 2011 at 12:27 pm

The story of my life — you boiled it down into one sentence — all fill-y one moment and all leaked out the next! I’m in the “leaked out” right now. Like a flat tire. Flat as can be with no Psssssssssssst to be heard. Last week at this time? I was full. Float-y full. Was it sucked out, pressed out, punctured out, spit out — I don’t know. But the cookie dough looks like it would help a lot right now. I’m with Brooke on this one. I’d better write it down, because somehow, I don’t think the answers are in the cookies or in the running away, or the curling up with a blanket over my head.

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Craig April 26, 2011 at 2:11 pm

Cora, nobody, not even Our Lord was able to always fight discouragement. And if he had moments when he looked at his twelve and went “oy vey” – then it can’t be sin. Maybe it’s like when a team plays a game to 15 – and they are down 14-3 – and they rin off 12 straight points to take the lead – then promptly lose the last 3 points and the game – I’ve seen it happen lots of times. One side exhausts all they have to catch up – just as the other side wakes up – and bam. I think you’ve hepled me to an answer – one of the answers – thank you Cora – I heart that!!! God Bless.

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A. April 26, 2011 at 12:39 pm

have been gone a while, craig, so am finally catching up…and starting here then will go back and read the earlier ones, but wow, i am reading this at 1:30 in the afternoon after having curled up last night and haven’t left the bedroom yet-dark, dark, dark. trying to find the ingredients for lemonade as in ‘have lemons will make lemonade’. so odd, because yesterday was such a good day for me, relatively. so i am all ears here. i need to learn about this. it happens a lot for me, too. and, although there are things like manic/depressive out there, i think some of this can be other things, too, spiritual things among others. sign me up for this course, craig. and thanks for taking the time to do this. (i call this the pill bug stage-all curled up in a ball when threatened…by who knows what.)

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Craig April 26, 2011 at 2:14 pm

You know, I know I know there are psychological things out there – and I’m no expert. But that aside we can be totally normal and have this happen. I’ll leave it to the experts to determine where the tipping point is. Still it happens to all of us I think – we just don’t like admitting it out loud. Sometimes I think I’m getting a little too “out loud” for comfort. :) God bless A.

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Dawn April 26, 2011 at 12:48 pm

The line that struck me in all this is “I’d be silly to think that it will never happen again.” So true. Satan doesn’t even have to be creative. He just replays the same old strategies again and again and we fall for them. Your plan to track your “falls” is a good one. Identifying triggers could be monumental. He’s probably setting you up the same way each time and knows when you are most vulnerable so he leaves you alone until he sees “it’s time”. Your plan may enable you (with Jesus’ protection) to beat him to the draw!

I also like how you repeated the story a second time (reminiscent of the chorus of a song) that, intentionally or not, served to underline the repetitious nature of Satan.

The words, the pictures, the rhythm of the lines, the heart and soul of you in all of it made passing by here today so very rich,
God bless,
Dawn

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Craig April 26, 2011 at 2:17 pm

Dawn – thank you so much. I DID do that on purpose – it’s word for word. WORD FOR WORD. The first time it was exactly the way I felt – the second time it’s exactly the way I think he felt. And you caught that – and that makes me smile. I think it’s allthe poetry that made me do that. And I might do a poem tomorrow (he says shaking his head and trembling) And your point about the Enemy just repeating the old stuff – amen. Thank you Dawn. I hearted this post. I heart that you hearted it too. God Bless.

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Mari April 26, 2011 at 8:20 pm

Yes, there is an ENEMY set to discourage us and now you’ve made me think if perhaps this is behind my “blues” this week.But either way, I think what you said is important: it will happen again and having the TRUTH you learn to turn back to when in the darkness lies abound is one powerful way to combat the discouragement. Doing it in the internet helps not only you but others…so thank you!

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Craig April 26, 2011 at 8:26 pm

Thank you Mari – thank you. Robert Schuller once said – “Remember in the dark what God showed you in the light” So true. This darn definitely needs a little light shed on it. Until then I’ll remember. You being here and commenting is light for me today. It’s still kind of heavy. I’m still in the figuring – and the praying. But that’s why it’s called “fighting the good fight”. No? Thank you Mari – perfectly timed comment – perfect. I think an angel sent you. God Bless you and yours.

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Abby April 26, 2011 at 9:22 pm

Craig,

Thanks for sharing…I read both parts. I am celebrating with you the huge searches and people stopping to read about Him here…

I laughed at your whole Mets part (we are Phillies fans, but that’s not why I laughed) and this is very guy about you. And I love the ‘heart’ as a verb thing…my hubby is not a writer and he loves sports, but if he were, I think he might use ‘heart’ as a verb (shhh, don’t tell;)

And I love the repeat and going from you to Elijah. This is great stuff and the insidious ways of the Enemy are real and the lies can overpower and often after mountaintops of deep encouragement…looking forward to part 3! Bless you!

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Craig April 27, 2011 at 11:00 am

Thank you Abby – but you know what – it’s not the bazillions that fly by – but saints like you that count. And I forgive you for being a Phillie – and thank you for noticing the little extra poetic structure in my post. Heart that!! God Bless.

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Miz Liz April 26, 2011 at 10:16 pm

OH!!!
the enemy.
I. Forgot.
Again.
Write 3# Fast.
please.

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Amanda @ Serenity Now April 26, 2011 at 10:45 pm

I had to smile (just a teeny bit!) b/c you mentioned cookie dough and ice cream…I try not to buy the cookie dough logs for that exact reason!! They are hard to resist. Thanks for sharing from your heart! And thank you, also, for the kind comment you left for me today…it made my day! :)

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Nicol April 26, 2011 at 10:56 pm

Hi Craig! mighty post- very good reminder…he knows our moment of weakness and for you it may just be those dark nights…but thankfully like Corrie ten Boom said, “There is not so much darkness in all of the world that it can put out the light of even one candle.” His Light is in you!!! Thanks always for your comments…YES- that is your button. {I am a quiet admirer!} I guess I should have asked or told you (kind-of thinking, “who am I that he would care?” But truly, I really do enjoy your posts…. are you getting settled in your new place?

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Debbie April 27, 2011 at 12:52 am

Thank you so much. This is so encouraging to me . . .that it can be normal. Because I think I always think I’ve done something wrong. Or that I should never feel this way. I get impatient with myself. Can’t wait til tomorrow for more! :)

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Michelle April 27, 2011 at 3:04 am

And Elijah, fresh from his mountaintop experience, runs away. (1Kings 18)

We all do that, don’t we. We all have times when we know the Lord is close, and we allow Him to work through us. And then we stop, and look at what He has just done through us. And we feel so small. And unworthy. And we run.

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