Love falls with the gravity and into the falls

by Craig on May 24, 2011

I’m still struggling with this today.

I know how to share my own hurt with Our Lord. I’ve sat with him in the darkest moments and opened up with him, knowing that he saves my tears.

But that was my pain. This pain I’m feeling this week? It belongs to my sister, and yet it has me entangled like a net.

As long as she hurts, I hurt.

So yesterday I wondered if what I was feeling was a little like what I thought you moms feel.

And grateful is not a good enough word to choose to express how thankful I am for the help I got from some moms in my comments.

If you haven’t read how I believe the love of a mom is the closest thing on the planet to the love of God, I think you’ll heart it immensely. It’s here.

Anyway…

Experiencing what I’m feeling now,
and having access to people who know of love,
in a way that only a woman knows,
that only a mom knows…

I think this is a once in a lifetime chance for me to grasp a mystery of God that far exceeds my reach – as a man.

I’ve seen it, the empathy that a woman has, and it grows in depth when a woman becomes a mom.  And I have felt it tug this year – and this weekend – it is begging me now to not walk away without learning all I can.

Sympathy involves compassion,
but Love goes beyond compassion,
it enters into suffering,
alongside someone.

That is the nature of God,

I hunger for that.

A story…

Our Lord approaches a scene where there is uncontrollable sobbing, the deepest kind, the kind I’ve seen in these last few days.

The two Mary’s are stricken.

The grief?

Like the waters of the river just before a waterfall,
rushing toward the falls.
Gravity is the force that moves the water,
the falls are the tears that flow,
heavy, thick, uncontrolled.

And Our Lord, who knew that the brother of the Mary’s was not to stay dead – still, his heart was drawn by the gravity and into the falls.

“He wept.”

It’s the shortest verse in the Bible.

His tears…
those are the falls.

Where is the gravity?

I need to come back to this tomorrow.

There is more for me to learn about the love of God.

I wonder how God deals with the burden of carrying a whole world of our pain. I don’t need to wonder, the answer is in this story.

Our Lord Jesus is God.

What he felt…
and how he dealt with it…
is what God feels…
and how God deals with it…

And how God deals with it is how I should deal with it.

I’m learning,

I’m learning.

And I need your help to understand. This sharing so deeply of the emotion of another – it’s something that a woman knows more than a man – it’s something that a mother knows more than a woman.

I need you to help me learn of this,
so please share below, in that little comment section,
please teach me what you know,
of this love of a mom,
that enters into the pain of one of yours.

A mother’s view on this is the view of God.

In God’s love.

{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

shelleyquinones May 24, 2011 at 9:40 am

There’s no words for pain. Only tears. Only hugs. Meeting daily needs- food, water, listening, prayer. We can’t take away another’s pain but we can share the burden to lighten the load. A card with heartfelt words is valuable now and invaluable later. I pray that Jesus will surround you both with grace and give you the comfort only He can. Thanks for having the courage to reach out

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Craig May 25, 2011 at 2:40 pm

I guess the thing, Shelley, is that I’ve been there before, some of you I’m sure, so, even has she. But to come alongside as our Lord did – and does – I think that’s the thing. Just knowing that somebody knows what you’re feeling as you’re feeling it and is just there with you as you’re going through it – the man part of me always wants to rush in and fix – but I think I’m learning that it’s just being there, not necessarily with any words, that does the most good.thank you very much I appreciate your input, really do, and God bless and keep you and all of yours this day.

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beth coulton May 24, 2011 at 10:02 am

Ok you did it again – this is a great statement- I never saw anyone put it like this but it’s the truest thing I’ve ever read – ” This sharing so deeply of the emotion of another – it’s something that a woman knows more than a man – it’s something that a mother knows more than a woman.”

Without a doubt, there is something about having a child that opens up a bottomless pit of emotion and empathy and caring and joy that simply cannot be experienced if you don’t have a child. There is no substitute, unfortunately, but that’s ok. We learn and share from each other, which is what you are doing.

As we’ve fought hard to keep our son alive and preserve him through the grips and darkness of depression, my husband and I have approached it completely differently. Neither of us wrong, but polar opposites. Him too strong, me probably too soft. It’s only been recently that we’ve been able to meet in the middle and have the same approach, but that took months. Our son was away at college in the midwest while he was hit with this- I felt as if I was talking him down off a ledge every single day of last fall. I have no idea how I got through it, except by the grace and power of God. I feared for my child’s life each and every night – that he himself would take it because the pain was so great. Many times I wondered, “Do I get on a plane? Stay here? Bring him home?” The worst was not knowing WHAT to do. It was agony.

But I couldn’t NOT do it. It was a driving force. My only concern was to get my son, a senior in college, through that last semester and HOME in January which we did. We then descended on him like vultures and have been to numerous counselors, psychiatrists, started him on medicines, and have fallen to our knees over and over.

I have two other children. I worked hard to not lose my focus on them in the process.

My son is doing well and I believe will be fine, but we have a long way to go. Looking back, I would not trade that time for anything because it allowed me to release my child to God and let God take care of it. God could be with him in Illinois when I could not be. This was the biggest challenge to my faith I have ever experienced in my 49 years.

Let God be God. He knows her pain. He has placed you there to support, comfort, encourage and be physically present with her. You will grow in your faith, as will she, as she sees Him do the heavy lifting. It’s an amazing process. Turning your child over to the Lord is the best and hardest thing you’ll ever do- even if your child is your sister.

Be encouraged- it does get better! And you’ll be in awe watching God work.

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Craig May 25, 2011 at 2:47 pm

first of all Beth, sorry I’m so late getting back to you – yesterday as soon as I was done posting the posts I was off to the brothers house to paint all day long – so I was oblivious to anything online. As a matter of fact I think I’ve read your other comment already too and I want to thank you for both – a thoughtful comment is always welcome – I don’t care how long it is – I don’t even care if it’s a little off topic – I know that kind of goes against the rules but I don’t care – it’s the connecting, it’s the talking, it’s the community part of blogging that has been the biggest surprise to me – so comment away anytime, just the way you’re doing it – I appreciate it more than I can say.

and your story about your son – it’s one that I’ve heard time and again with the really good moms that I know – and added to that when you have to balance it with still taking care of your other children – I just think moms that care and try hard are miracles. I continually stand in awe of the love of a mom. Again, best thank you for your advice, thank you for sharing a little bit of you, and God – he perpetually has me in awe :-)

And God bless and keep you and all of yours.

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Cora May 24, 2011 at 3:52 pm

I cracked open the door, and I peeked. I read what perhaps I should not read, and definitely have no right to answer. I am not a mother. And my mom died in my early childhood, so I never knew the love of a mother. I have read these posts, I have read all the comments, and I have wept for you, Craig, for your sister, and for me. I felt the big empty, tomb-like feeling of “no love.” But you know, ALL OF YOU have taken me to a new level of understanding GOD’S love for me an I can’t thank you enough for baring your souls like this. Craig, if I have tread where I should not have walked, please feel free to delet this comment. I will surely understand! But I wanted you to know that God works in ways we will never understand! Thank you all!

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beth coulton May 25, 2011 at 8:19 am

I’m not Craig, but I can’t imagine why your comment wouldn’t be more than welcome! I’m so sorry for the loss you’ve felt in your life. I lost my mom at 40, and it was tragic. We never get over losing our mom…no matter how old we were when it happened. I’m so glad you’ve been impacted by what’s been said here!

And now maybe MY comment will be deleted as I seem to be taking over here lol….. 😉

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Craig May 25, 2011 at 2:50 pm

Cora, I can’t add a thing – what Beth said in response to your comment – perfect. And if I can write these posts and not being a mom – you can certainly read them and not be a mom :-) I’m sorry I’m late in responding but, as I said in my other comments, the minute I was finished writing these posts I was off to paint my brothers house – and that was all day long thing. I hope you know your comments here are always welcome – I heart having you here – I miss you when you’re not here. So thank you Cora, and as always God bless and keep you!

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A. June 1, 2011 at 11:40 pm

First, Craig, your statement that ‘love enters into the suffering of others’…that is so true! It doesn’t just stand by wringing its hands; it enters into the suffering.

Second, Cora! Hugs! Just Hugs!!!!

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