Love is anti-negative inner voices

by Craig on June 23, 2011

The post-y notes have begun their takeover on my wall.

This is part two of the “anti-negative voice posty notes strategy”
part one is here – it’s a really good place to start.

It’s a little oppressive this gathering of negative thoughts. In order to herd them together like this I have to listen closely for them. And the more time we spend listening to these stupid negative voices the more harm they can do. But like allowing a doctor to break a bone worse in order to reset it – I’ll take a little pain now for some healing later.

Two days ago they won the battle – these negative voices. Yesterday I wrote about my negative voice fail (here). One of them wrestled me to the ground in the predawn hours of writing and almost stopped me from writing.

I got a little bit reveal-y – and I shared what I didn’t want to – and a truly heart felt thank you goes out to all of you who took time to comment, and stand by my side. On those days in the future that I want to pretend to have it all together instead of revealing messy truth, I’ll go back and read them – thank you.

Now back to these guys….

They’re like…

Let me think a minute…

They’re like…

like…

source

evil little bunnies,
threatening to overrun,
my peaceful but fragile little garden,
of positive emotions.

The good thing is that they don’t seem as threatening written down,

on the post-y note,

on the wall.

Removed from the dark recesses of the mind and heart where they can do such damage, they lose some strength.

Negative thoughts don’t like the light.

As I’ve been writing these words I’ve been staring at the posties. They just seem like little yellow squares of paper with words on them that barely have enough power to hold onto the wall.

Maybe it’s because that’s all they are.

Some of them I’ve heard for many many years.


Some are variations of the originals.
All of them are designed to make me curl up in a ball, and give up.

There are 10 of them now, I want a wall full of them. The more of these negative voices I can pull out of my head, and put on this wall, the better.

The negative voices are anti-love.
That may be both their strength and weakness.

They are impatient,

they are cruel,

they are petty and spiteful,

they want the spotlight,

they are overbearing and crude,

they are rabid and surly,

they live in the gloaming…
and aim to cover us…
with their blanket of gloom.

they are lies,

they weaken us to gain strength,

they destroy faith and obliterate hope,

and they weigh us down and make us give up.

They are so ridiculously not love…

it’s ridiculous.

Identifying them is step one in defeating them.
the more posties on the wall the better.

This war moves forward tomorrow….

with these…

and soon maybe these…

the cat is optional ^.^

{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }

Melanie June 23, 2011 at 1:44 pm

Craig,
First, let me say a warm “thank you” for coming by my very quiet blog and leaving your kind words of encouragement. I dropped by here just to tell you that and then read this post. It is just where I have been. I have lost focus and have spent way to much time just wandering through the house trying to figure out what it is that I am doing. Complete with all of the negative thoughts of failure and how will I ever do what it takes to feel satisfied and the end of the day. I am going back to my gratitude journal and begging strength from Him who knows me best…and still loves me anyway. Oh, to be so up and then be so down is a very mind boggling thing that I have dealt with all of my life. Just by reading your comment caused me to begin reading my own blog. This very act has encouraged me today and I hope that the brain fog will lift soon. I see that I have done what it takes in the past and I will, by His grace, do it once again.
Many blessings to you. You have the gift of encouragement. Thank you for encouraging me.

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Craig June 23, 2011 at 2:04 pm

Melanie, I just finished praying for your “brain and heart fog”, for a little clarity, for HIM to be there for you, for a little extra faith, a little extra love, a few Angels. Thank you for the opportunity to pray for you, I hearted that! And I think we should all go back and read our blogs little more often – and let those words keep us accountable – and lift our spirits. Funny how we can be so kind and uplifting for other people – and write that way too – and yet speak to ourselves so harshly. I heart reading your words Melanie – and thank you, a heartfelt thank you, and God bless and keep you and all of yours.

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Dawn June 23, 2011 at 5:45 pm

Dear Craig and Melanie,

I had to come over here from Deep into Scripture to post my CRAPPY day comment. I have cried so much today that my head hurts. I have spent so much time on several projects and been told none of them are any good. Today the final shoe dropped. Instead of going through my Colossians chapters for memorization review this morning, I reviewed a grant proposal I was supposedly turning in today. They rejected it without even turning a page. Talk about failing in public, Craig I’m 2 for 2. I was so shocked I could not speak. My lips pressed tightly together to keep from screaming, I left the meeting quietly, got in my van and simply cried. No, that’s not right, I don’t just simply cry: I wailed and drove, sobbed and drove, and then went home, got a dog and walked while I sniffled. Sebastian, the selected dog, was thankful it was in between rains.

Now this is where a woman has an advantage over a man. A woman can do this to a certain extent, a man–never! Today it was good I was female. I don’t need post-it notes, I have real live people speaking the negatives to me–definitely, not a stellar day. I’m going into the word of God this evening for sure.

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Craig June 24, 2011 at 4:26 am

more later – for now – just know that I prayed – and I understand – and I don’t like it – and it seems not fair!! God Bless you Dawn.

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Craig June 24, 2011 at 11:52 am

Dawn, feel free to drop me an e-mail if you want to talk about this further. It seems horrible. I get being crushed like that – it’s a day after now, I hope the storm is calmed a little – but I’m not happy that it happened – and I’m not happy that you were so sad. Drop me a note if you’d like to talk more – God bless and keep you.

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Michelle June 24, 2011 at 3:47 am

AMEN! AMEN! AMEN! and AMEN!!

And Dawn, praying God will be all you need, that you hear His voice, not the negative, but the love He has for you and His presence right where you are now.

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Craig June 24, 2011 at 11:50 am

Michelle, first, thank you for praying for Dawn – thank you. And thank you for the amens – and the ALL CAPS – and the exclamation points. God bless you Michelle!

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Cora June 24, 2011 at 9:27 am

I’m so late in getting here — no internet service yesterday!

Craig, I’m learning, too, that writing the negative down and posting it somewhere visible does knock the life out of them. They just don’t sound as strong and as important — or even truthful — as when they are in my head. When they are in my head, they seem so alive and real and they poke at the tear ducts and get them going and then at the heart and that slobbers all over, and then, finally, they push the anger button. Does anyone else here have that part???? I get all dark, down, and angry and begin making these plans that include quitting everything, never talking with anyone again, never going back to church, hating everything and everyone, etc., etc. It seldom happens. A “Let’s do lunch” sweeps it all away and I’m ok again. But I find it amazing that one negative thought can lead to “It’s just not worth ALL THIS TROUBLE (whateve that really is) to just go spend an hour in church!” Thank God for sticky notes! And when they do fall off, that’s when you REALLY know how powerless they are.

And Dawn, I’m praying for you, too. Wish I could have been there with you. Mainly, because I don’t like it when someone is driving and wailing at the same time. I pray you found the comfort that only He can give, and please know that I’m still praying today for you!

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Craig June 24, 2011 at 11:28 am

Cora, I think the negative thoughts snowball for everybody – the final destination might be different – mine ends in hiding and wanting to curl grow up in a ball – I don’t do anger very much – everybody has a different point where the snowball crashes at the bottom of the mountain. So I get it. And church? It should be such a safe place for broken people to gather – because were all broken – and yet it’s not always. That sad. Anyway, thank you Cora – and God Bless.

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Melanie June 24, 2011 at 12:12 pm

There is so much kindness and love here! Praying for you all, today is much better. I really get what Cora was saying, I make the same dark resolutions and then all it takes is just a little kindness or sweet fellowship and the whole day is brighter. We really all do need one another. Craig, Dawn, Cora and Michelle, praying for you all and thanking you for just sharing. It’s good not to feel alone. Bless you all, my laundry and children look much sweeter, the sky, much clearer.

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Craig June 24, 2011 at 6:11 pm

Melanie, your comment was a joy – thank you. If you came to a blog that claimed to be all about God’s love and then you didn’t see any love going on – that would be a bad thing. The people who read me have big hearts, good hearts, God’s heart. I count you as one of them. Reading as many moms as I do, I understand how even the sweetest children and even the smallest amount of laundry can overwhelm. Being a mom who loves is hard – so much harder than anyone except a mom who is being a good mom can understand. I only understand a little – but it’s enough to be constantly awed. Thank you, I’m really glad our words crossed paths – I look forward to reading you more and getting to know you and your family – and God above all – through your words. God bless and keep you Melanie – you and all of yours. And thank you.

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Dawn June 25, 2011 at 12:03 am

Well, my dear Craig’s church where Christ lives and where love abounds,

Today was much better. I googled about retrospective studies and informed consent issues and am much better able to defend my proposal. When I came back here to see what transpired I was greatly moved. Michelle, Craig, Melanie and Cora were all praying for me. I could feel the power. It filled me with a spirit of persistence rather than defeat; peace rather than failure. Hugs to each and every one of you.

I must go to bed, but I will fall right to sleep (sorry, Craig) because I belong,
Dawn

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Craig June 25, 2011 at 8:38 am

love is good – it’s really nice to see it operate – and spread around like jam on a piece of bread – everybody today in the comment section seemed to pray for each other – that’s love – I heart that – and I heart that you felt persistence rather than defeat; peace rather than failure. and I don’t regret you actually being able to sleep – well – kind of :-) God bless you Dawn.

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Debbie June 25, 2011 at 12:20 am

Loving all the love for each other here! Isn’t this just what He wanted for you, Craig? :)
There is something so powerful about how when you post the negative voices, they begin to lose their power. Yes . . .I like that. The more I see them for what they are, the less they can affect me. God bless you and all the wonderful readers who take the time to pray and comment and love each other in His name!

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Craig June 25, 2011 at 8:42 am

there’s more to do with the negative voices – just posting them isn’t enough – I’m praying and thinking about other ways to slay them – but I think the post the system has a kind of magic – and the system is going to get bigger and better – and hopefully more effective. But it’s a start. And I heart all the love :-) God bless you Deb.

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A. June 27, 2011 at 1:34 pm

Oh, my!!!! I am so late to Craig’s church here, (Church of Craig and Laska), but I am blessed just reading and am praying time-warp prayers for Melanie and Dawn and Debbie!!

Cora, I could only say amen and amen to each and everything you wrote. you were in my mind for sure!

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