Love doesn’t quit even if it doesn’t look like quitting

by Craig on July 12, 2011

An old Chinese proverb…

source

But there’s a flip side…

“If you don’t begin you can’t fail and wont’ be judged.”

Which, by the way, is one of my negative voices.

This one…

Which has a cousin of sorts…

this one…

which is in my top 10.

If you are new to the Love War on the negative voices please read this first. It’s where the Love War on the negative voices began.

If you’re wondering what all the posty note business is – and talk of corralling negative voice “horses”, here’s where all that started. All this will make much more sense if you read that first.

This morning, the thought of not beginning this process of” breaking” the negative voice “horses” – and making a “negative voice” top 10 suddenly became very inviting. This very talkative negative voice offered up some assistance:

“If you’re going to fail at this,
and my friend,
really,
with the past being the best predictor of future,
you know you’ve tried, and you know you failed at it before,
you know you’re going to fail at it again. Right?
This might seem harsh, but I’m really trying to help.
If you know you’re going to fail…
Then why began?

If you stop now, write a few tips on how to get rid of negative voices, then everybody who reads you will say, “good, those are useful, I can use that.”

And then you can move onto something bright and cheery…
because to be honest again…
because you know I only want what’s best for you…
this topic is heavy…
and people are going to tire of the heavy…
and they’re not going to want to read you…
and soon you’ll have no readers…
and everyone will despise you,
and you’ll be alone forever…

and…

um…

Hello!

Snowball much?!

Repeat much?!

Stupid negative voices!!!!

It was at this point in this truly lengthy negative voice that one negative voice “horse” jumped right out of the corral…

this one…

So this morning I sat and stared at the screen. I looked over at the horses on my wall. I said good morning to Laska the love Kitty. I drank some tea. And I almost called it a day.

I almost listened to the advice of the negative voice.

I almost wrote a quick “5 easy steps to beating the negative voices” – then knew that tomorrow I’d write a bright and cheery Laska the Love Kitty guest post – then take down the “negative voice” wall – and nobody would know…

that I quit.

But I can’t quit.

So tomorrow Laska the love kitty shares what he’s learned about humility…

then I show you how I arrived at my top ten negative voices…

which, by the way…

to prove I haven’t quit…

are these…

# 10


# 9



# 8


# 7


#6


#5

#4


#3

#2

and topping the charts at #1…


Then Thursday I’ll share how I got these stubborn little horses in a nice tidy straight line…

it wasn’t easy.

The war on the negative voices, almost derailed this morning – by negative voices – continues…

{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }

Cora July 12, 2011 at 12:39 pm

Craig, my insides got all tied up in knots as read all these sticky notes of yours. Why? Because most of them are mine, too. Especially the one about, if you don’t start anything, then you won’t fail at anything. The story of my life and where most of my regrets come from. And the “5 easy steps to. . . .” never work for me. I call those the “canned answers.”

I might say some nice things here. But I could just as easily say nothing at all — or not even come by here at all. I don’t jump on bandwagons because I usually fall off, so please know that I’m here for the long haul. I’m just one squeaky, tiny voice here, but it counts for something, doesn’t it? I DO understand, though, how these thoughts plague you because they plague me the same way. The past couple of weeks have been a roller coaster of emotions as I’ve been going through all of this. But if I can “train” even just the worst of these voices, my life will be transformed.

So . . . now I want to throw darts at YOUR wall!!! I did NOT like reading these at all, Craig. Strange how when we see OTHERS’ negative voices we become all protective and positive, but won’t do it with ourselves. Count me in here!!!

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Craig July 12, 2011 at 12:55 pm

Cora, your voice isn’t just important here, it’s needed. I heart your voice. I heart having you read me. And part of what were going to have to do to beat the negative voices is to give them a new voice – the kind of voice that you talk of when you say, “when we see OTHERS’ negative voices we become all protective and positive,” – that’s a step or two ahead of where I am – but it is where we’re going. Sometimes I wonder if maybe I’m getting too reveal-y with all of this and I should just fight this battle privately – I’m hoping, that some others like you and me might be fighting the same battle, and might find something useful in my words. And I’m with you too on this point – if we can just clear out some of the negative voices – it gets less crowded in the corral – and less likely that any will escape. God bless you Cora – and thank you.

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Andrea Dawn July 13, 2011 at 1:32 am

Craig . . . getting all reveal-y in the safety of a group of kindred spirits is a good thing, a God thing. When the lies are brought into the light, they lose their power and you start to get free. It’s kind of like when a kid is scared of the dark shadows in his room at night and Mom or Dad ‘turn on the light’ and show him there is no substance there. The light reveals what is true. I struggled with the relentless negative voices for years, but they are few and far between nowadays. What helped me to get free was to consciously and verbally break agreement to the lie, find a scripture, a truth from God’s word that countered the lie and again speak that out, give voice to it. For example . . . the lie “you will always be alone”. I break agreement to the lie that I will always be alone. Father, thank You, that You have promised never to leave me or forsake me and Your word says “Be strong and of good courage, do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” The scriptures teach us about the power of agreement whether it is in prayer or purpose, so when I understood that I get to choose who I am going to agree with it really clicked for me. I can choose to believe the truth. I hope this is not coming across too preachy . . . that is truly not my heart. It was not like just snapping your fingers, say the magic words and all is rosy. It was hard work, lots of reinforcement, and every time I would hear the lie, I would have to say again, I break agreement, I choose the truth. I just want to encourage you . . . don’t give up, there is truly freedom to be gained. Thank you for your vulnerable sharing, blessings!

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Michelle July 13, 2011 at 8:41 am

YES!!! and AMEN!!!

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Craig July 13, 2011 at 1:29 pm

Andrea Dawn, your comment was totally – TOTALLY – not too preachy. It was just preachy enough. It reminds me of what I know is true – that prayer is the first go to weapon in this war against the negative voices. I think I get what you say about the agreeing thing. And I think I’m kind of headed in that direction – although I might use different words. Still, this is such a good reminder to choose – to choose life. Thank you very much for taking the time to comment so completely – and with such care. God bless and keep you, and thank you again.

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Kristin July 12, 2011 at 8:09 pm

If I say something nice, I mean it! Please don’t ever quit or give up. I love reading yours and Cora’s words. I heart your words :) And I believe when we become vulnerable and give a piece of ourselves, it is helping others. You may never know just how many you’re helping with your words of love. Keep writing! I’ll keep reading:)

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Craig July 13, 2011 at 1:33 pm

Kristin, I promise – I absolutely promise that I will trust you – and if you say something nice – I WILL believe it :-) so thank you, from my heart. That one particular negative voice is going to be hard to beat – but it’s time for it to go down – along with the others. And the negative voice that says “quit – give up” that’s just a general one that’s been repeated for – well forever – it’s not specific to this blog. I’ll be writing for a long time. Thank you for reading. God bless you Kristin.

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Mari July 12, 2011 at 9:29 pm

What a “top ten”! So brave of you to share (you have really nice handwriting too!). Has me thinking of my own list. I think in the end all our lists are filled with lies about our worth. Oh if we would only pay attention to our Maker and ignore all the rest! Thanks again for sharing yourself =)

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Craig July 13, 2011 at 1:37 pm

what you mean is that I “have really nice handwriting” —- for a guy (◠‿◠) yes, I read between the lines. And Amen we all need to pay more attention to the voices of truth – the voices of heaven. Thank you for reading – and caring enough to comment. It WAS a pretty vulnerable post – so it’s nice to hear a some voices down here in the comment section. Yours especially. God bless you.

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Debra July 13, 2011 at 12:01 am

“Real men have both money and power”… oh please Craig. So what do you tell the father of lies when he throws that one out? Real men know God. And they are not only created in his image, but are being transformed into his likeness. Just like you.
Now for the nice things people say… they’re all true. Surely you don’t think you’re dealing with a pack of liars here, now do you? *sigh*
I’ll speak not only for myself but for all your readers who keep coming back. The real you is the real deal, the one that attracts like-minded souls, those who live for Him.
And furthermore, you are being made perfect in love, and perfect love casts out fear. So there.
When will you have a bonfire with those sticky notes?

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Craig July 13, 2011 at 1:45 pm

like it or not – it’s a gender thing – and it’s not only the inner critical, negative voice that says this. It’s the world. Men are evaluated by their successes, their money, their power. In the eyes of the world I’m a major failure. I know that I have value in the eyes of Our Lord. So my evaluation of myself is pretty stable, even in the face of this voice – still it’s ugly and it rears its head –grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

And the nice things people say – it’s the negative voice that may say that they’re all lies. It’s – well – it’s negative! But I know the kind words I read here are not lies. But then I’m dealing with really nice people in the comment section – so the voice says something like – that they’re the kind of “lies” that you say when your bride turns to you and asks, “Honey does this dress make my butt look big” – I know enough to know what the wrong answer to that question is – even if it’s the truth. Does that make sense?

So there! (◠‿◠)

and there will be no bonfire with a sticky notes – just training them to behave properly – just breaking the horses so they can be written – just praying – but no bonfire – just truth – just love – I have a plan – it’s unfolding (◠‿◠).

thank you Debra, and I promise, yes, I do believe you! God bless!

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Michelle July 13, 2011 at 8:42 am

I agree with your statement – ‘Bring the light, not the heavy’, but only because you are bringing The Light, not the heavy that comes with listening to the lies.

Keep on bringing The Light to us. :)

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Craig July 13, 2011 at 1:47 pm

‘Bring the light, not the heavy’ – remember, that’s not “my” statement – it’s the statement of the stupid negative voice.(◠‿◠)

and Michelle – which you said – that was really nice. And I believe it. Thank you. Humbly, thank you.

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Debbie July 13, 2011 at 8:44 am

Thank you for being you, for showing us the notes, for being open and honest. And thank you for not giving up. I won’t either, okay? Some of my top ten say “I’m incompetent”, “I never do anything right”, “I’m not good enough”. Thinking of you and praying too, that God shows you what to do with all of this!

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Craig July 13, 2011 at 1:50 pm

well, Debbie, I said at the beginning of the year that the masks needed to be dropped. I seem to keep dropping them everywhere (◠‿◠) and something tells me that our corrals of negative voices share a lot of identical horses. Thank you, as always for praying – the war on the negative voices is coming around the far turn, nearing the home stretch. God bless you Debbie.

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Mary M July 13, 2011 at 4:01 pm

I found this Love war ‘by accident’–via Deep into Scripture via A Holy Experience–but in God’s plan there are no accidents. I needed to read this today, Craig, because I have also been fighting hard against the negative voices in my head for years. Sneaky, aren’t they? No matter how much I study holy books for help against them, pray, and make acts of faith, the thoughts always come back, and when they hit hard all I can do is sit tight and ride out the storm, praying to God for mercy and patience. But if I could find a way to cut off the storm’s power before it hits full force…has He shown me the way?! Yes, through you I believe I’ve been given a way. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, I pray that God may bless you and strengthen you with the full force of His Love in this holy warfare.

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Craig July 13, 2011 at 7:17 pm

Mary, I’m grateful for the accident (◠‿◠). Those inner critical – negative voices – they are so sneaky. In this war against them I found the sneakiest thing to be the times when they pretend to be helpful – on my negative voice wall is one that says “eat, you’ll feel better”. It’s not one of those yell-y -scream-y types of voices – it sounds nice, and comforting, but it’s destructive still the same. Sneaky is right! The love war against the negative voices will be going on for probably another couple of weeks – and there’s a bunch already done. I’m reading and researching as I go – and the computer has eaten my research twice now – grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr– but I’m getting a handle on these voices anyway – and re-researching is actually really planting the info in my brain – and I think this whole corralling and retraining thing is going to work – regardless of the voice that says, “what makes you think things are going to be different this time?” That’s on the wall too (◠‿◠)

One of the things I’m thinking is that even if we don’t train all of the negative voices to act properly – if we thin out the herd – there will be fewer of them – and fewer will be easier to deal with.

I am so grateful that you found some use in my words. I’m touched, really, thank you. And God bless and keep you and each and every one of yours Mary!

PS Mary was my moms name – I heart the name Mary – never met a Mary that wasn’t wonderful
.
PPS well that’s not exactly true – there was sister Mary Immaculata in fourth grade – she tied me to my desk – and she had a ruler!! There may be some blog fodder and that somewhere – anyway, thank you again.

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A. July 14, 2011 at 12:52 am

Craig, I am very glad you are reveal-y, though I know it comes with pain. I am not wishing pain on you, of course. I am grateful that you are taking the time and risk of sharing all this with us because we do so need to learn about this….some of us. I am still in the thick of ‘negative voices’ battle and I mean stuff is flying everywhere all the time and exploding all around me. I think the enemy knows I mean business and want to really get a handle on how to deal with these voices. I suspect the enemy really pours it on at times like this. So hang in there and keep plowing through all the negative voices for us! I pray for you in this.

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Craig July 14, 2011 at 1:39 pm

Actually A. the reveal-y doesn’t really come with pain – just more of a fear of looking weak – men don’t like to look weak. I emote like a woman – but I’m a guy still. And I’ve already learned that once you begin fighting the negative voices – they get desperate – so YOU hang in there.- as for me – now that so many of them are identified – and corralled – and they’ve been sitting on that wall as little posting notes – they seemed to have a little less power. Plus people have been really nice in the comment section. And I don’t feel so alone-ish in the war on the negative voices. God bless you A.

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