Love tackles the toughest one first

by Craig on July 18, 2011

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It began as a war against the negative voices that hold us back – and has transformed into the not always easy art of breaking a horse.

It’s been an epiphany.

Turns out that the negative voices are not to be defeated,
but broken so that they can be ridden.

It’s was a monkey-braining transformation and epiphany.

I wrote about my monkey-braining issues once – if you missed it – it involves this guy, click on him and you’ll go there…

love-keeps-an-eye-on-the-monkey-braining

It began with “fencing in” the negative voices…
which made me think of the word “corral”…
and led to researching the breaking of horses…
and the realization that these aren’t run of the mill horses…
these inner critical voices…
they are wild mustangs…

and that brings me here…

Friday I thought, although there’s still more to learn, it was time to start the breaking of the horses.

I decided to begin with two easy questions for the horse in the training corral…

1.    Where did you come from?
2.    What do I do when I hear you?

And then there came this thought…

There is only one unredeemable evil in all the universe of created things – and negative voices, though they may come from him, are not him.

Then I found this (from here):

“Growing up in a wild herd, the horse learns sociability, respect, and a deep understanding of movement, energy, intent…Only one thing stands between them and a loyal, lifelong bond with you: FEAR. Bottom line is, the horse thinks you want to have it for dinner!”

The wild horses fear us…

who knew?

And since they aren’t unredeemable…
there must be a kernel of good in even these wild horses.

So a third question, “What is your kernel of good?”

So with this in mind I step up to my wall to the number one voice – the most ill mannered, nasty, and bullish one.

source

Inside the training corral, even separated from all of the others, it’s still formidable.

It creates a pit in my stomach.

So I move my eyes down…
and a bit left…
to the dot….
And I remember what the dot means.

And I pray…

Lord, I can’t let these voices have mastery anymore.
You are my Potter. You are my master.

But I need to be theirs.

Deal with them, alongside me, please…
your power … through me.

And I ask the questions…
And I write the answers…

Answer number one is easy…
Answer number one will resurface a lot….
I wrote of the birth of answer number one here.

Answer number two is easy…I know what I do when I hear this.

But answer three?

I clench my fist as tight as a permanent knot on a string, and my eyes water. But not tears of sadness but the same tears that used to well up when my older brother, five years my senior, would wrestle me to the ground and show me who the boss was.

Those tears.

And so question three proves to be difficult…

And so I back away…

leave the horse in the pen…

and I’ll return later.

The mustangs may be afraid – but they can still strike fear.

Step…

By…

Step.

The Love War on the negative voices continues…

More tomorrow…

please come back.

{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

Cora July 18, 2011 at 7:20 pm

I had a really GOOD laugh at the pictures today. I wasn’t expecting that, and it took me completely by surprise. They were just perfect, Craig!!!! Just perfect.

I did ok with question 1 and 2. But I’m taken back by question 3. I wasn’t expecting THAT, either! I’ve spent the whole day thinking about that one. I can’t even find one answer for any of my wild horses!!!! Wow! You were right —- this is really a tough one and I’m struggling with it!

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Craig July 18, 2011 at 7:40 pm

but I really think there is some kernel of good in each of these voices. The best of lies always comes with an element of truth. So there’s something to learn – there’s something, if it were put a different way that would be useful. And if we find that different way to put it – and that kernel of truth – and keep it with the horse – I think that might just keep horse broken. It’s funny, just like over it Deep into Scripture “works” now means daisies – “negative voices” is becoming “wild horses”. God bless you Cora for sticking with it – through the struggle – God bless you.

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Michelle July 19, 2011 at 4:12 am

Wow! You have not chosen an easy path here. But it is a path that will lead to freedom. Step.By.Step.

Praying for the wisdom and discernment you need to do this.

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Craig July 21, 2011 at 1:50 pm

Michelle, first, I’m sorry for being so late in responding to your comment – a little bit of bloggy disaster – a setback – but He is helping. Anyway, I know that when there’s a list of things to do – the best thing is to tackle the toughest one first. I think I read that in some sort of time management type book once. thank you for your prayers – I will need the wisdom and discernment. And my hope is that through all of this sharing – someone might gain something. God bless you Michelle!

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A. July 25, 2011 at 9:37 am

OK, I have a loooooong drive ahead of me today-twelve hours pure road time-and question three will keep my brain busy. thank you for that one. It is unexpected. Craig, blessings to you in all this!

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