Love commends tears in season.

by Craig on September 23, 2011

gitzngirl-Sara Frankle-choose joy-choosejoy-death-dying-1 cor 13 lovesource

And now rain falls…
soft, serene, soothing…
everything overlaid with glisten and shimmer.

And the sadness I feel for Sara
for Sara…dying…
it ebbs, flows, like waves on shore…
but still covers like steady rain.

I’m thinking that to be disquieted right now…
heartsick for Sara walking steadfast to heaven…
but through the dark doorway…
of death…
that’s ok.

Later I choose happier joy, now I choose joy mingled with sorrow.

Either way I choose love.

If it were me, being more selfish than Sara, I wouldn’t mind sorrow on my behalf.

I’m sad for losing Sara’s voice, even though all I know of it is from a handful of songs and her words. Those words encompass the fourth part of my consistent and constant prayer for her:

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extra faith…
abundant peace…
greater courage…

and to know she has made a difference.

And as I discuss this with our Lord, the still small voice seems to say, “It’s a time befitting of tears. Death is an intruder, unwelcome, out of place, absent of love. Tears, alternately soft, or increasingly intense, mirroring the rain outside, are in harmony with the season.”

Love commends tears in season.

And suddenly the rain crescendos…
a soft rumble of thunder…
raindrops fat and heavy replace delicate drizzle…

Laska the love Kitty who has been sitting at the screen door watching this quiet and steady drizzle…

now frantically runs as if insulted, and shrieks a meow of complaint, as he scampers from the raindrops that penetrate the screen door.

Oh, ce qu’une catastrophe !

He glares at me as he sprints by as if I had something to do with his wet fur.

And it comes to me that although joy can mean happy. Christian joy can be like the now steady rain, persistent, insistent, intentional – knowing that there is a God, and God is never overmatched, is always on time, and everything eventually bows to him whether choosing to or not.

This joy is love and is much more grand than “happy”.

And I’m reminded that Sara is going from life…through death…to transcendent life – as opposed to life… to nothing…or worse. How privileged we’ve been to companion her steps and glimpse the veil between heaven and earth.

And as I finish writing this, the rain finds the midway point between ethereal drizzle and ferocious downpour, as does my heart. And that could have just been chance…

or not.

The sadness for Sara…

overwhelming at times…

present from the moment I read the words on her blog,

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“The journey is coming to an end”….

and the words were not written by her…

from that moment sadness made a home.

Love is big enough for both tears and smiles.

And as I write that…

the rain is gone…

replaced by mist…

and a sliver of moon peeks through the soupy sky…

and faces the oncoming dawn.

It could be just random chance…

or not.

 

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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Cora September 23, 2011 at 4:19 pm

Still keeping watch with you, Craig. “A time befitting of tears.” It is definitely that, isn’t? And I think that our precious Lord thinks the same way. It was our Creator Himself that built us with the ability to shed tears, as He knew we would need that release of waterfalls and overflow. I love the picture of Laska by the door. I had the view and the same feelings last night as Buster and I listened to the rain — sometimes hard pounding, sometimes soft drizzles. But I loved the last picture of those steps!!!! One day, we will each have to climb them, won’t we. I always say, “I can’t wait!” But when it someone I truly treasure, I want to pull them back. Oh, for the grace to let go. . .!

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Craig September 25, 2011 at 10:51 am

thank you Cora. And now the watch is over, and Sara’s new day has begun, and I’m pensive, but not sad, not sad. No tears. And I heart that picture of the steps too. I was looking for the right one for a long time and wasn’t satisfied with any of them and was about to go with one that was less – then I found this. And Sara isn’t on the end of the steps anymore, she’s home. And I guess I spoke too soon about the tears, because there goes one, but it’s not a sad on. God bless you Cora.

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Debbie September 24, 2011 at 7:57 pm

Thank you, dear Craig, for words that comfort and carry, cover and choose joy, the smiles with the sorrow. You are a blessing and a help. We swang out in the rain today. . .joy in the swinging, but a sadness in the drizzly coldness.
God bless you in this season.

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Craig September 25, 2011 at 10:53 am

thank you Debbie. You know me, I don’t see myself as a blessing or help. But I’m learning to believe some of what I hear. And all the sadness seems gone now, as Sara is gone from here. It’s replaced with something different. Not sure yet what. But the season has turned. Sara is home. God bless you Debbie!

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Katie September 25, 2011 at 12:17 pm

Thank you Craig! I saw on InCourage that she had past away. I am sorry for your loss of Sara. Tears for a season… are always precious.

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Craig September 25, 2011 at 5:33 pm

I’m sad, I’d say more – just sad.

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