Love weaves tapestry

by Craig on September 27, 2011

gitzngirl-Sara Frankle-choose joy-choosejoy-death-dying-1 cor 13 lovesource

Sadness is beginning to slowly turn…
Only because of faith…
Sara really did go home…
she really is alive.

And I don’t want to forget the hope that she represented, the way she faced the difficult and tragic, and harsh, and sad that the world threw at her – and how she confronted death. How can I forget such bravery, such faith, such love?

I can.

We can.

I’ve stopped praying for Sara, she no longer needs prayer.
Soon this heavy will turn and I’ll have a chance to choose joy…
at least the smile-y variation.

But I don’t want to forget.

It’s so sad, the lies we tell ourselves when people die. We say things like, “We’ll keep them alive in our heart” or “As long as we remember her she’ll live on.” Or we say that people continue to live through children or legacy.

It’s nothing but Santa Claus and Easter Bunny for adults.

We don’t need to believe in Santa Claus or Easter Bunny when we have Incarnation and Resurrection. Do we?

Anyway, none of that talks keeps them alive.
It just keeps us from looking at death.

Spring and Fall…

1 cor 13 love-gitzngirl-Sara Frankle-choose joy-choosejoy-death-dyingsource

…similar temperatures…
but one escapes winter, looking forward to summer…
the other leaves behind warm, and anticipates chill.
One is turbulent but full of new life…
the other is all blustery and things die out.

And I noticed the other day how the trickle of leaves falling will soon cover the ground…
and the trickle of time will soon cover all of this…
it’s an unavoidable fact…
we forget…
we move on.

But not so quick for me I think.

How God weaves the tapestry of his children together…
and leaves all his children free to choose their own way…
it makes for a tapestry ugly, disjointed, unruly, and imperfect…
when looking at it from the bottom.

Only the top side reveals the pattern.

1 cor 13 love-gitzngirl-Sara Frankle-choose joy-choosejoy-death-dyingsource

We see the messy bottom…

1 cor 13 love-gitzngirl-Sara Frankle-choose joy-choosejoy-death-dyingsource

God sees both sides.

And this time, this tapestry…
this messy bottom…
if I pray…
and weave purposefully…
I can make something of beauty from it…
or I can just abandon the tapestry…
move on to the next.

I think I’ll weave.

So stay with me a little longer please, on this.

Sara doesn’t need her memory kept alive.

She’s got other things of much more import and interest to occupy her life.

She sees both sides of the tapestry now as easily as we drink water on a parched summer day.

It’ll take me a little longer to finish weaving this tapestry.

And I want both top…

and bottom…

to mean something.

{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }

Debbie September 27, 2011 at 9:13 am

I love the thought of the tapestry looking beautiful from both sides. I want that for you, for us. Here, in our little world, my daughter cannot stand tags in her clothing or on anything else. So I let her cut them off and she saves them. She loves the bottom, the messy part that doesn’t look at all like the top, because it is more colorful there. So I will ponder this along with your post and see what God brings me.
God bless you as you linger and weave as He desires you to.

Reply

Craig September 27, 2011 at 4:37 pm

I think, Debbie, if we yield to God’s leading, and want his will above our own, the tapestry will be both uniquely ours – and love. And I heart that story of your daughter – I heart that LOTS! Thank you for that. There IS a lot of “color” on the bottom. God bless you my friend.

Reply

Mari September 27, 2011 at 10:17 am

“…none of that talks keeps them alive. It just keeps us from looking at death” A hard truth. We try by any means possible to avoid death, of even using the term! …How beautiful though that her “legacy” doesnt point to her put to God. And that is my heart’s desire for my own life.

Reply

Craig September 27, 2011 at 4:40 pm

I noticed someone on twitter today saying one of these. she said – you are in our hearts so you can’t be gone. Her intentions were good I’m sure – but the words sliced right through me. Sara is gone from here – not gone – but gone from here. And such a good point you bring up Mari, her legacy points to God – Amen – that’s what we should all be striving for. Thank you for that, thank you. God bless you Mari!

Reply

Cora September 27, 2011 at 11:10 am

Craig, I hate all the “canned” remarks and lies that are unleashed at funerals, in cards, and in those icey hugs. My father always excused them all with, “But they meant well.” There are times when I would prefer Job’s friends and their silence. After my brother died, my family thought I should write a book from the caretaker’s viewpoint and the “Journey towards Jordan.” I started it, but I found myself frozen somewhere in the writing. There were no words for what you described here as fall slowly walking towards the cooler temperatures of winter. There was a silent beauty in it all, and it hushed me into quiet. Yes, Sara is Home. And we are here. We are all changed by life, by dying, by death — just the letting go is life changing. And for a moment we see both sides of the tapestry. For just a brief, silent moment, faith sees. I’ve tried to work with tapestry type fabric, and let me tell you, it’s a mess. But so worth the trouble. Such rich, beautiful patterns on the upside. Strings galore, just like your picture on the backside. This is a poem Corrie TenBoom wrote in her book yers ago. It’s been memorized, put to music, repeated from pulpits, etc., and I’ve had it for years. So fitting to your post today, Craig. Thank you for this!!!

My Life is but a weaving
between my Lord and me;
I cannot choose the colors
He worketh steadily.

Oft times He weaveth sorrow
And I, in foolish pride,
Forget He sees the upper,
And I the under side.

Not til the loom is silent
And the shuttles cease to fly,
Shall God unroll the canvas
And explain the reason why.

The dark threads are as needful
In the Weaver’s skillful hand,
As the threads of gold and silver
In the pattern He has planned.

He knows, He loves, He cares,
Nothing this truth can dim.
He gives His very best to those
Who leave the choice with Him.

Reply

Craig September 27, 2011 at 4:44 pm

I have watery eyes reading this Cora. But a smile too. I learned of the tapestry thing in seminary, reading Edith Schaeffer. And you, being a tapestry-er – I’m sure there’s a lot more inspiration there for you. If I had known I would’ve consulted with you before writing ツso much in your comment – so much. Thank you Cora. God bless you.

Reply

Dawn September 27, 2011 at 9:19 pm

Dear Cora,

This post is so much bigger than my initial reading made it out to be. Thanks for your comments that zoomed in on it for me.

Dear Craig,

What hit me before I read Cora’s comments was the juxta-positioning of autumn and spring. I have often thought of them as being the same yet unfolding in different directions with the end of the one being the beginning of the other. Summer and winter merely the extensions of the other two. Summer being more of the end of spring and winter being more of the end of fall, each preparing the following seasons for their unfoldings. I love Mark Buchanan’s book “Spiritual Rhythms: Being with Jesus Every Season of Your Soul” for that very reason. Sometimes we’re in a moving, growing and run alongside time and sometimes we’re in a rest, reflect and lean back time. It all comes out in the tapestry.

Reflecting with the community,
Dawn

Reply

Craig September 28, 2011 at 5:21 pm

Dawn, apparently we think alike ツ And you are so right, it all comes out in the tapestry. You are a gem my friend. God Bless.

Reply

Craig September 28, 2011 at 5:22 pm

PS Laska climbed 40 feet up in a tree yesterday – it was harrowing – I’m sure there’s a post coming soon – he’s very proud.

Reply

Miz Liz September 27, 2011 at 9:38 pm

Craig, dear friend. God blessed ME by bringing me back to reading at a beautiful time. I’ve been “away” not by choice but by inability to concentrate. I read your post yesterday, then spent several hours meditating though Sara’s blogs–her words and words by her family. And tonight – – – your words, your grief, your sureness of a better time to come, your ache at living this life without the Sara’s of our worlds – – – both heal my own fears and longings and show me the heart of a fellow journeyman. I am so blessed. Never knew of Sara in any way and now her life is radiating love and healing to this old, worn-out but trudging on lady. (Yes, Cora, the silence of Job’s friends is OFTEN truly golden) Craig, thank you for being brave enough to show your humaness and frailty and love of life. I join you in both celebrating life [yours, Sara’s, Cora’s, Dawn’s, and all our hosts of frineds’] and in weeping at death.
I love all of you and cherish your words, your wisdom, your prayers, your faith and I join you in our love of life and our homesickness for our King.
Thank you, Craig.
Liz

Reply

Craig September 28, 2011 at 5:25 pm

Liz, dear Liz, we are all on the same path, you, me, Sara. she is ahead, and you and I are following, but our faith gets us to the same place. Thank you for being so nice. God bless you – you little whippersnapper ツ just a baby in the eyes of eternity.

Reply

Katie September 27, 2011 at 10:08 pm

I sit with you and read your words…. in silence today.

Reply

Craig September 28, 2011 at 5:28 pm

I feel kind of silent myself too Katie. I watched Sara’s funeral service online today. I thought all the tears were gone. They weren’t. But funerals – they’re for us – not those who have gone. I’m glad I watched it. I think I needed it. And I needed your kind comment too. So thank you, and God bless you.

Reply

Dawn September 28, 2011 at 4:56 pm

Craig,

I came back to this page because of the tapestry after I read Ann’s post on the Q ideas page today. You might find it especially interesting as she delves into the Hebrew a bit.
http://qideas.org/blog/do-you-feel-broken-and-fragmented.aspx

Everything is a whole,
Dawn

Reply

Craig September 28, 2011 at 5:30 pm

and thank you Dawn, Ann’s words are always good, and I heart it, I really heart it when we write on the same thing, on the same day – that happens a lot.

Reply

Leave a Comment

{ 1 trackback }

Previous post:

Next post: