Love says thank you 1,000 times (#626-630)

by Craig on October 31, 2011

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My counting of graces…
is my list one of substance…
or wispy nothings…
paper flowers – or more?

To say thank you is one thing – to be thankful entirely another I think.

This far into the 1,000 I have to ask.

I don’t share this to much, but there are pitch black storm clouds on every horizon – all racing toward the center of the sky. And there is the strongest of chances that they will converge. At which point the Sun will break through and there will be light for these eyes so used to seeing through dark, or it’ll be good that I have grown accustomed to dark – because there will be more of it.

Is that vague enough?

So I have to ask, “How deep is the gratitude?”

I still worry – though I know the way to peace…
still see the glass half empty, all the ways things can go wrong.

I’ve have connected in this year named “connect”…but still run to the solitary corner for safety…
and seen mountaintop glory and felt the coldest of grief.

But am I different for the thank you’s?

It’s still the dark night before daybreak outside, soon will be dawn and this post will need to be up. And the answer still hangs on the balance swinging with no certainty.

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There has been great change. There has been no change. I’ll have to think more, and pray.

I’d prefer not to have more hardship to “grow from”. I’ve never really had a chance to grow in a fair season – only storm. I’ve never had a season of “happy” – at least not a very long one.

I’d like one.

But I have to want what Our Lord wants more than what I want.
If I don’t, then my faith doesn’t even approach mustard seed size.
So, please, if you have a moment, pray…

That I want what He wants.
That I pray for what He wants.
That I continue to dot my i’s and cross my t’s…
and then accept what happens as what He wants…
and do so with faith and grace and gratitude.

And see light no matter how dark…
and hope despite any mountain of despair that drops from the sky…

and be ready to accept good should it come. Because, honestly, I’m not sure I know how.

Oh, and I forgot…

love says thank you 1000 times with Ann Voskamp - 1000 gifts

Thank You God…

#626 … that there is always time for change, for growth. That the end of time is not the end of time – that there is no end of time for those who believe.

#627 … for faith like a bird that sings for the dawn before any hint of light arrives.

#628 … that I have always clung white knuckled to this shield of faith You’ve given. Even though I might not always have the tightest grip, You’ll keep me from losing it.

#629 … that You are greater than any enemy, any darkness.

#630 … that this isn’t fairy tale, this faith. It’s grounded and proven and even though shaken – has always been – and I’m certain will always be – unshakable.

{ 33 comments… read them below or add one }

Rita October 31, 2011 at 8:23 am

Dear Craig,

Thank you so much for these words ….

“So, please, if you have a moment, pray…

That I want what He wants.
That I pray for what He wants.
That I continue to dot my i’s and cross my t’s…
and then accept what happens as what He wants…
and do so with faith and grace and gratitude.”

Oh, how I can identify!

Lifting you up in prayer right now – please pray for me too.

Kindest regards,
Rita

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Craig October 31, 2011 at 12:46 pm

Rita, thank you – sometimes when I write something not so “up” I get afraid that I’m all alone – nice to know that I’m not – and of course I’ll pray for you – I heart the chances to pray that I get from blogging – I will pray for you the same thing that I want prayed for me – the exact same thing. God’s will above ours – and for the heart that wants his will above ours. God bless and keep you Rita – and thank you very much.

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Rita October 31, 2011 at 1:38 pm

Thank you, Craig.

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Carrie October 31, 2011 at 9:21 am

Oh, I see a lot of myself in your post. Unfortunately, I don’t think we can grow to the deepest extent without trials. Admittedly, when things are going well for me, I don’t reach for Him as often as in the dark moments. One of these days I will be content, peaceful, and joyful but it won’t happen until I completely trust in Him and His plans. And I’m still working on that complete obedience! Many blessings to you, Craig.

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Craig October 31, 2011 at 12:49 pm

Carrie -shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh – don’t say things like that – what if God is listening – and what if he takes your advice and only gives us our deepest growth from our deepest pain. Seriously shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! ツ and I join you in working on completely trusting the One who is so worthy of trust – why don’t we just trust? Still, I find comfort that I’m like you ツ

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Christina October 31, 2011 at 11:26 am

I can relate to every single one on your list. I too have been learning that growth in Him requires complete brokenness. We have to be stripped away piece by piece, as was Eustice of his dragon skin. Like Lazarus in the parable, we will experience sufferring here but will be comforted in the life to come. Thank you for sharing your heart.

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Craig October 31, 2011 at 12:51 pm

Christina – I repeat to you what I just said to Carrie,

“shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh – don’t say things like that – what if God is listening – and what if he takes your advice and only gives us our deepest growth from our deepest pain. Seriously shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! ツ

I think maybe we just pay more attention when we’re in pain – we don’t notice our big toe – until we stub it – right? But Amen – a little bit not so nice here – and whole bucketful’s of so nice later. It’s a good trade. God bless and keep you Christina, and thank you.

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Glenna October 31, 2011 at 12:33 pm

Joining in on the Multitudes on Mondays today , how great that we can come together and share our hearts of thankfulness lifting up JESUS on each of our blogspots,
I love number 626 that there is no end of life to the one who believes …………………….
I must borrow that to use on my Facebook .
Many blessings to you
as we contiune to count our blessings …………………………………..
Glenna

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Craig October 31, 2011 at 12:54 pm

I think, especially as some of us – of course not me – certainly not me! – When some of us get older we worry that we won’t be able to accomplish what we want within the time span of this life – again – of course! NOT ME! But for those people that do worry about such things – AGAIN NOT ME – it’s good that the time clock began with birth – and stops sticking – never. God bless you, Glenna – you are a blessing – maybe I’ll count you sometime ツ

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A. October 31, 2011 at 1:09 pm

“for these eyes so used to seeing through dark, or it’ll be good that I have grown accustomed to dark – because there will be more of it.”

Craig, you say this so well, and I can feel this, because I have had long stretches in the darkness, too. I pray for you now, then, and will do so each time I am reminded of you and your request today.

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Craig October 31, 2011 at 1:20 pm

I know…. I know…. I really do.

and thank you A. – you really were missed – by me – but not just by me. ツ

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A. October 31, 2011 at 1:36 pm

and I missed being gone from your place ‘here’, Craig, and your friends here, too. and {{{Laska}}}!

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Dawn November 1, 2011 at 7:36 pm

Craig is really right about this, A. There was a BIG hole in the comment section and it had your name on it!!

Missed you here,
Dawn

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Kara October 31, 2011 at 4:25 pm

My dear brother,

you asked,

So, please, if you have a moment, pray…

That I want what He wants.
That I pray for what He wants.
That I continue to dot my i’s and cross my t’s…
and then accept what happens as what He wants…
and do so with faith and grace and gratitude.

I have an errand to run… alone! A little bit of grocery business. ;> I’m going to ask of Abba these things for you. I know he’ll grant these desires, for they so match up with his own for you.
You are changed…. and you are not. We all know what that’s like…. a slippery uncertainty if we look too inward…. but He is a sure thing. I know you know. ;>

Kara

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Craig November 1, 2011 at 12:45 pm

Kara, thank you for that prayer. I really don’t want anything more that I want what God wants. I chase after things, I strive for things, I set up goals that may or may not be his – and the one thing that I want more than anything is for him to work his will through my life – and make me more like him. And that’s with his will does. And to keep that mindset, instead of chasing rainbows – for that – I need this prayer – so thank you. God bless you, Kara.

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Mari October 31, 2011 at 9:18 pm

Craig, I have tears in my eyes b/c it has been a “cloudy day” for me emotionally and your courage to accept the darkness encourages me. I prayed for you…”and hope despite any mountain of despair that drops from the sky” Amen!

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Craig November 1, 2011 at 12:50 pm

Mari, I HATE that you have had a “cloudy day.” Really, I do. It makes me angry and I want to do something to fix it. I know I can’t. But I just want you to know that I hate it.

Just sayin.

And although my eyes are pretty used to seeing in the dark – I’m thinking that they might do okay with a bunch of sunshine to – so I’m all for the sunshine being sent – I just want to make that clear! ツ and thank you for praying for me – I need this prayer – I need to want what HE wants more than what I want – with that comes peace. and I prayed for you too my friend – I actually just finished the prayer. I prayed for better than clouds – but that if there be clouds – that He give you the strength, and faith, and surround you with the love it takes to make it through to the rainbow in the storm. God bless you Mari.

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Cora October 31, 2011 at 9:40 pm

It’s been a “cloudy day” for me, too. And it’s your #628 that was my favorite. My knuckles are white from clenching that shield and I refuse to let go, no matter what.

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Craig November 1, 2011 at 7:08 pm

Cora, I’m late responding – sorry. And especially so since were having a cloudy day yesterday. But I think you probably know that I have this strange little theory of time and eternity where if I pray for something now. God can move the prayer to yesterday – it’s just a theory – and this prayer is probably a day too late for your cloudy day – but I just finished praying now – and I hope today wasn’t cloudy – and just in case I prayed for tomorrow too. God bless you my friend!

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path of treasure November 1, 2011 at 12:09 am

I can relate to that prayer… to want a season of “happy”, but to also genuinely say to God, “not my will, but yours”…I can identify. And this… “And see light no matter how dark…
and hope despite any mountain of despair that drops from the sky…
and be ready to accept good should it come.” Yes, to continue to see and hope, no matter the circumstances.
Surely will pray for you, and please pray the same for me! Blessings on your day.

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Craig November 2, 2011 at 3:56 pm

Anna, first, I’m sorry I’m late in replying to your comment – second, of course I’d be glad to pray for you – I already have – the same exact prayer – because I’ve said it 100 times for myself. I find that we repeat prayers. Not for God – because he only needs to hear it once – and really doesn’t even need that – but we need it – to remind us – I need it – to remind me. God bless you, Anna. and thank you for letting me pray for you.

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Michelle November 1, 2011 at 4:25 am

“I’ve have connected in this year named “connect”…but still run to the solitary corner for safety…” Some of us need the solitary times in order to replenish ourselves so that we are able to continue to connect. I joke (but I’m serious about it) that my love language is quality time – on my own! I hear that the extroverts get their energy from being around others, me I like being on my own to re-energise.

And praying. (:

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Craig November 1, 2011 at 7:14 pm

Michelle, solitary times are one thing – but I’m not married and have no children so I’m solitary quite enough – I have God – I have Laska the love Kitty – but I’m not in need of solitary times to replenish. I have needed this year named “connect” to change – and there has been some – and I think you’ve been around long enough to see it. But there needs to be more – and thank you for praying – because no matter what happens if I just want what God wants – and if I just pray for that – Ill know it’s what should have been. There are so few guaranteed prayers – this one is one of them. I just need to keep praying it – and keep having it prayed for me. God bless you my friend

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Jennifer November 1, 2011 at 10:00 am

Your posts continue to make me reflect. Yes, praying that I want what He wants and remembering that He is so much brighter than the darkness. Stuck in Mommy mode, I think to my self in Vegetales songs “God is bigger than the boogy man…and He’s watching out for you and me!”

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Craig November 1, 2011 at 7:17 pm

Jennifer, that was a truly kind thing to say – that these words might make you reflect. By the way, one of the things I heart most about your blog – is how you’re stuck in mommy mode. It flavors all of your writing – and all your words come out in shades of love – and I heart that. Thank you, Jennifer – and God bless and keep you.

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Layla Payton November 2, 2011 at 1:36 am

Hey, friend! Just poping in to say, “Thank you.” I loved this post (especially the last ‘Thank you’).

I’m in the “thick of it” right now, so my comments will be short, while I adjust to these new meds. They make concentration difficult. Just wanted you to know, in case I only read & don’t post replies for a while.

I’m still here. I love coming here. :)

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Craig November 2, 2011 at 4:01 pm

,Oh, that’s why they’re so short – I thought it was just because – well – you know – you probably already read. And I totally understand medication making concentration difficult – totally! And if I ever see a comment of yours – all it says is (((heart))) – I’ll totally get it. I’m blessed every single time I see your face. God bless you Layla!

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Layla Payton November 2, 2011 at 9:20 pm

Thank you, friend. :) You are a blessing to me as well.

I always (((heart))) coming here.

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Donna November 2, 2011 at 2:20 pm

Praying right now for you, that our Father will give you His wisdom.

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Craig November 2, 2011 at 4:02 pm

Donna., thank you – really – thank you. no wisdom is better than his, no will is better than his – and I want both. I heart that you would pray for me – God bless you!

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Nacole@sixinthesticks November 3, 2011 at 11:06 am

oh, #628 and #630–just–wow. thats all i can say.

i really, really enjoyed reading this. praying for you now. pray for me too?

blessings friend,

Nacole

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Craig November 3, 2011 at 12:46 pm

Nacole – 628 and 630 didn’t seem all that deep when I wrote them – just truth – they just kind of happened. I’m glad you hearted them. And thank you for the prayer my friend – I need this prayer – I really do – I really need to pray for what he wants – want what he wants – and accept what happens is what he wants – I need that. And of course I’ll pray for you – you know I heart praying for you. Blessings to you to friend.

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Nacole@sixinthesticks November 3, 2011 at 11:08 am

oh, i almost forgot–i finally got my post up for Multitude Monday! i am very late, i know. and i will be posting an ending to “What Does My Faith Rest Upon?” today or tomorrow.

http://sixinthehickorysticks.blogspot.com/2011/11/grounded.html

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