Love remains vulnerable…but strong

by Craig on November 3, 2011

You know those little rolly polly bugs - well ℒℴvℯ is NOT like that.source

From a distance, they’re cute – for a bug.
They have this absolutely ridiculous name, Armadillidiidae
their Latin name is even worse Armadillidium vulgare
which I was sure meant “gross little armadillo bug”…
but turns out that “vulgare” means “common”.
Anyway, I guess it’s no wonder that we call them roly-polies or other cute names.

And if you mess with them…
they don’t bite you like a spider
they don’t sting you like a wasp
they roll up in a little ball…
until it’s safe to peek out again…
and then unroll and skedaddle.

By the way, this “rolling up” has an equally ridiculous name, conglobation.
Really now – roll up isn’t good enough?

You know those little rolly polly bugs - well ℒℴvℯ is NOT like that.source

Anyway…

They don’t eat any other bugs. They don’t hurt anybody, and they don’t give anybody much of a chance to hurt them. They do have that soft underbelly, which would seem like good eatin’s for other bugs and animals – but they tend not digest well – and can be a wee but poisonous as a meal.

Not like anything really ever gets a chance to gobble them up anyway.

They close up tight.
They don’t do much reaching out.
They don’t let anybody in.

And let me just say this, and it’s something I bet you’ve never heard before…

Love is does not conglobate.

Yes, I did just write that – and yes, I’m proud of my extensive vocabulary.

Love doesn’t roll up in a ball.

Love stays vulnerable…but strong

source

And just between you and me, conglobating has been my life’s story.

They really should just use the word “rolled up” – shouldn’t they?

And also just between you and me, I’ll share that you don’t get to be my age, and never have been married, and not have romances, and not have broken hearts. Not to say you can’t have a broken heart in a marriage, because obviously that’s possible. But if you don’t get married, and you have a smidge more charm than an Armadillidiidae, time and time again you will unroll a little, just enough to feel the thrill of romance – and the deathly sting of its almost always bitter end.

I know marriage isn’t always ice cream and kittens, but try a nice long life of repeated broken hearts – it’s not kittens and it’s not ice cream – it’s not even yogurt or puppies. The falling in love is all sorts of wonderful, the often repeated fall from that mountaintop is excruciating. And since you know I’m not married, and you know I heart women, you know I’ve tumbled off that mountaintop a lot.

Looks like this will be a petite series too – just a few days at most – I promise.

I know, everything is a series with me, but Victoria…

yes, you over there, I know you’re reading this…

and I heart that I know that – and I heart that you’re reading…

I promise this will be a short one.

Anyway, if you’ve read me a while you are familiar with these words…

there’s more to this…

tomorrow…

please come back.

{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }

Christine November 3, 2011 at 8:44 am

Oh, Craig, it’s so easy to just roll up no matter where our love in this world comes from. In marriage, with our children, with friends, through idols (which could BE our marriage, children or friends)…the ONLY love that doesn’t roll up is Jesus. I love when you share like this. You put ouchie and healing in my heart all at the same time. This is what I needed to read today. :)

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Craig November 3, 2011 at 1:00 pm

Christine, and I’m smiling – all big and :-) kind of smile. Thank you – and honestly, your comment is just what I needed to read today. God bless you my friend!

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Victoria Jenkins November 3, 2011 at 9:46 am

busted!! LOL
I really don’t mind a series. Besides, with all the work you put into your blogs that we read in minutes or less, I don’t blame you. Not only that, but really? It makes it more interesting. So there you have it. It’s a love/hate kind of thing, except I honestly don’t hate it, but sometimes it’s hard to wait for the end. (fyi, I’ve never read the end of a book before its time.)
I look forward to how you will weave it all together…and that’s the love part. Well, two parts…first the weaving and second how it ends. Thanks for enjoyment that goes along with my morning coffee. v

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Craig November 3, 2011 at 1:02 pm

I can’t tell you how happy I am that you read today – and that you commented – it’ll solve the mystery for some people – and I would’ve looked a little silly if it had gone unsolved ツ and thank you for telling me that you get it – I heart that – THAT’S love. God bless you, Victoria!

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Cora November 3, 2011 at 9:50 am

Craig, you have this knack of putting a smile on everything — even rollie pollies. Nothing better than watching a little child discover them for the first time — pushing one with a stick, watching it roll up, and hearing the laughter and giggles.

Ok. so I’m the queen of the everyday, common, rolled up armadillo vulgarus bug. So much so, that I get accused of hiding out even when I’m not. Those that know me know that I will do this, won’t answer the phone, won’t answer the door, and will disappear for a while. It’s easier than answering that awful question, “What’s wrong?” Somehow, I must have been absent when they handed out the answer sheet for that question. I need the list of pat answers ready at all times, or I just roll up. Not a nice thing to do on my part. But sometimes, I don’t know what’s wrong. And sometimes I don’t want to SAY what’s wrong. And other times, there’s NOTHING wrong — I just like being rolled up. I feel safe rolled up tight. Nothing better than a hinged shell that covers everything!!!!

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Craig November 3, 2011 at 1:06 pm

Cora, they are funny little bugs – but trust me, looking at the pictures – the close-up ones – there is no such thing as a funny little close-up picture of a bug – all blargh and meh!!!! and scary!!!! and that question – “what’s wrong” – sometimes it’s even worse when they know exactly what’s wrong – but ask the question anyway. No? And that’s a good point. Sometimes you don’t know what’s wrong – and sometimes rolled up feels good. I get that. How come everything you write is so insightful and wise? God bless you Cora.

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Dawn November 6, 2011 at 12:30 am

Dear Craig,

You are so right here, Craig. Cora is really insightful and wise. I love it and her.

I had to take a personality/temperament test for Pet Smart (don’t ask). They kept asking me what I did when people disagreed with me or held differing points of view or there was conflict of some sort. I had to say in a dozen different ways that I kept to myself, avoided interaction, ignored them…. I don’t think that will bode very well for an applicant, but that was the God’s honest truth. I think that is the same as roll up in a ball. I get it.

Good to be in this community,
Dawn

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Cora November 3, 2011 at 11:54 am

PS: Craig, there’s something wrong with your other blog. I can read the post, but there is no comment box, and nothing down the side, etc. ????

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Craig November 3, 2011 at 12:11 pm

Cora – it’s that Bill Gated problem – it only happens with internet explorer – I think I fixed it – can you go check? Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Bill Gates!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!

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Ruthiey November 3, 2011 at 4:15 pm

I have to fight the temptation to roll up sometimes… it just seems easier than staying tender and open. Thanks for posting this.

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Craig November 6, 2011 at 10:20 am

Ruthiey, you know I get it – I really do. And sometimes rolling up isn’t a bad defense – it’s a defense mechanism for the roly-poly – but it’s obviously best if it’s not a lifestyle. Obviously there is stuff to be gained from the bad as well as the good in this life because whatever comes into our lives. God allows – so there’s always something to be gained. If we roll up for too long – we miss it. But you know – YOU KNOW , I get it. God bless you Ruthiey – and sorry I’m so late in replying to your comment – have been battling a little bit of sick.

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Katie November 3, 2011 at 7:30 pm

Oh I get rolling up and hiding. It is INSTINCT to roll up in a ball and hide when I am hurting. I do it naturally. Years of abuse — verbal and mental and physical — condition a person for that. But others hide even if they haven’t had the abuse also.

But what is great is that I don’t have to stay rolled up scared and hiding alone. I have learned more healing comes from sharing my heart with God and others in community than when I stay rolled up and hiding.

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Craig November 6, 2011 at 10:22 am

Katie, I think those of us who lived with abuse – we might roll up quicker and tighter then some others. So you know, I get it. And I’m learning like you – that sharing can lead to healing – the old saying, “no risk, no reward.” It’s partly true. No?

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Katie November 6, 2011 at 12:34 pm

I know you get it. No risk, no reward…. yes it is a risk to share, but it is more of a risk NOT to share because that is when I become my heart becomes hard and bitter. Risking to share has brought GRACE and LOVE into my heart, which is a great reward.

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Layla Payton November 5, 2011 at 10:07 pm

Dear Craig & friends of Craig,

This is (sort of) off subject, but I would like to point you to a blog: http://kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com/

Perhaps you already know about it. If not, I hope you love it as much as I do. It talks about love. The messy, God kind of love. :)

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Craig November 6, 2011 at 10:23 am

(ˆ◡ˆ) – agreed

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Rie November 7, 2011 at 12:25 pm

Okay, I’m reading backwards. So now I know what that praying needs to be.

I waited long and hard for my marriage to be what I wanted it to be. Gregg’s demons tortured me, too. And in that waiting I reached out to someone else. Now, that’s a lonely place. All that sin.

Waiting is what it is, waiting. And waiting means something is coming. Right?

I believe it is coming. If lone leaves you feeling even slightly empty then it is not God’s plan for you.

Can you feel it, in the change of seasons? Death brings life. Old becomes new. Waiting brings love.

Still praying, Rie

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Craig November 7, 2011 at 2:14 pm

Lone is what I am – but that’s only because learning of love – real love – God’s love – came too late – and now I’m unlearning what I learned. This post wasn’t really about romance at all – I think a lot of people assumed that – but I’ll be honest – as far as romance is concerned – I have always longed for another half. Just sayin. But as there are seasons – the season for that – it may just be past – and besides – I have faith, I understand love, I’m at least as attractive as your average troll – but I have very little in savings, and the sleep thing makes it impossible for me to make any sort of a meaningful living by means of a regular job – so I’m not that “marketable”. The money thing – I’ve written about it before – I’ve talked with everybody about it before – it’s still something very important in the male – female dynamic – it’s that part that I don’t have. Anyway – you now know too much – it’s a good thing I’m not the CIA (ˆ◡ˆ) God bless and keep you Rie – and prayers – I always need them – so thank you.

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