Love lies open…vulnerable…real

by Craig on March 23, 2012

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The 10th Station of the Cross…You, Lord, are publicly stripped of your garments.

And I don’t need much inspiration to understand this. I know this, having been dressed down and humiliated so recently by people I never thought would do it.

sadness…
disappointment…
pain (not the physical kind)…
embarrassment…

and humility that I know You already had Lord…
but it’s still a fresh possession for me.

We see in paintings, You crucified…
but always with that loincloth.

There was no loincloth.

The Romans didn’t give You that the dignity.

They crucified You…
and left You with nothing.

They left you exposed…
every bit of you exposed…
for everyone to see.

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There is no humiliation worse than very open and public humiliation.

It’s like the sins I have, we have…
that nobody knows about…
they seem less wrong…

we’re less embarrassed by them then the wrongs everyone witnesses.

It’s one reason why the secret sin is often the most destructive.
The sin no one knows about…there’s comfort in the concealment.
There’s comfort in that lack of exposure.

You, Lord, never sinned…
but here, You had none of the comfort of cover…
and even with your infinite humility…
I think you must have felt, if not embarrassment…something.

Even infinite humility isn’t immune to hurt.

To have every eye on you…
at the worst possible time…
in the most demeaning way…
have the curtain raised on the stage…

They meant to put a dagger through your pride…source

when all we want to do is hide….

You know this, Lord.

They meant to shame You publicly.
They meant to put a dagger through your pride…

but there was no pride in You to penetrate.

Still…
there was your heart.
This dagger must have found your sublime heart.

I know this all must have hurt. so. horribly. bad.

All of this would have been unbearable for any human who wasn’t God.

But You. are. God.

And familiar tears come back as I write this.

That’s one of the things that faith is, isn’t it?

To take Your real life, Lord…and make it achingly present in our daily life.

I look for some tissues to wipe away the tears because my eyes are stinging. Something is making it impossible to keep them open. The tissues aren’t within arm’s reach, and I don’t want to get up to get them…because I need to continue to feel this.

So I give into the sting…

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close my eyes…

and I pray.

I imagine standing there…naked…
in front of angry people screaming at me…
in front of people I know…
and I feel the shame of being exposed.

And my mother…
I see how hurt she is…
and I feel every bit of it myself.

And I open my eyes…
and the tears are still there…
but the stinging is gone.

Maybe sometimes we don’t need tissues, we need You.

{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

LuAnne March 23, 2012 at 9:37 am

I, too, need to find some tissues now Craig. These words “the secret sin is often the most destructive” – how powerful and true. And I think, in His full humanity, that He did feel embarrassment – just as we do when we are humiliated. Oh but this is our Lord, who chose to come in human likeness, no? And because He did, we can bring our own embarrassment to Him and He takes it all on that cross so we are left with no shame. What an awesome God we serve!

Blessings,
LuAnne

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Craig March 24, 2012 at 12:39 pm

I wondered about whether or not Our Lord felt in embarassment – but then I really thought that to be embarrassed takes pride – H was absolutely humble – was embarrassment possible? I could see the temptation – but…who knows. I could debate both sides of this argument for the next 10 years 【ツ】

And the secret sin – I’m reminded that there IS no secret sin. Our Lord sees everything – and that’s okay if our God is the God of love AND justice – not just an angry God pointing a finger – there are commandments, there needs to be obedience – but there is grace. And yes – Our God, whom we serve…IS…awesome! Thank you LuAnne, God bless and keep you.

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Cora March 23, 2012 at 8:56 pm

Craig, at first I wasn’t going to leave a comment, as this is so sacred, but I wanted you to know that I was here, deeply touched and moved! It is so hard to move myself personally, emotionally, heartfully into all He did, and all He went through for ME. It IS overwhelming to move from the physical pain (which was beyond awful in itself) into the pain of His heart, the embarrassment, the shame and humiliation. I leave here tonight and wonder how to approach the Throne of Grace except to whisper my thank you and let my tears drop on His feet. Thank you for this!

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Craig March 25, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Cora, I pressed the wrong button and left a comment – instead of replying to your comment – I did it the other day – I just found out now – so I copied and pasted it here so you would get an e-mail…

Cora, one of the reasons I’m sharing this was that the ground WAS kind of sacred. He was talking… I was listening… And I’m just sharing stuff now – that’s all. I’m not special. The fast wasn’t special. God was and IS the special thing. I think the fast made it possible to, as you said, “move myself personally, emotionally, heartfully into all He did, and all He went through” – it was at times overwhelming. Thank you Cora – it is always – a JOY to know that you have read me. God bless!

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imperfect prose March 24, 2012 at 9:47 pm

that last line. so, so powerful. if we would stop relying on other measures of comfort, and let God be our all, yes…. yes.

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Craig March 25, 2012 at 2:27 pm

Oh me of little faith Emily – the older I get in the faith – the longer my relationship becomes with the God of all things – the more people I know who KNOW Him – the more I realize how the world broken – and none of us, NONE of us leans enough on HIM – we all rely on, as you put it so well,”other measures of comfort”. We ALL need better eyes – we ALL need more faith. Thank you Emily, thank you much. God bless and keep you, your babies, and your hubs.

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PollyMayforthKrause (@LittleLunchGirl) March 25, 2012 at 5:54 pm

I have to say, as someone who writes, how much I appreciate what you do. Not only is your material very deep, well-written and touching, but it is presented in the most beautiful, sensitive way. Your tender heart is so evident in this sensuous work! Bravo, Craig!

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Craig March 26, 2012 at 1:42 pm

Polly, thank you – but HE just shares– and if I’m listening hard enough, then I get to share what HE shares – that’s all. The subject matter is the rose – the words – they’re just babies breath (◕‿◕). Anyway Polly, thank you much – and sorry I’m late responding to your comment.

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