Love says thank you 1,000 times (#’s 869-878)

by Craig on April 16, 2012

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I’ve shared how hard it is to open my eyes in the morning…
to let go of the one time in the day my body feels normal…
before fully waking…the time of dreams…and the in between.

Sara once said that when, in dreams, she no longer felt normal…
that’s when she knew things had changed for the rest of her life.

Thank you God

#869… that I still have this time of respite, in dreams, to keep fresh the memory of “normal”.

#870… for this desperate longing I have, every morning, to hold on to that time, like a last piece of gold. I despise these moments. But thank You because…

I’ve noticed…just now, how it can serve to remind me…
that this place, this time, this life, it’s only the beginning.

I have always had the most difficult time actually wanting Your Kingdom to come, when I pray “thy kingdom come”. We, I, should long for Your kingdom to come, as ardently as I long to hold onto those last vestiges of “normality” in my dreams.

And because of this longing I feel every. single. morning. I get it just a little bit better, Lord.

And while I’m on the topic of sleep, I’ll let you know I keep all my medications by my bedside, without caps on them, for easy access. I don’t have children to protect, just a love kitty who doesn’t want anything to do with eating the little colorful charms. Lord knows why this brings me joy, but…

Thank You…

#871… for how Laska, when he wants to gently get my attention, will paw at a bottle and nudge it until it falls to the ground and all the pills splatter. The little “shove, shove” noise and the mess on the floor, both make me smile.

#872… for my little furball of a smile factory.

#873… for the 5 second rule…even if those seconds are really, really long seconds…like hours or days.

#874… for my new little twin nieces, born on separate days…all fingers and toes accounted for.

By the way, I still need help choosing “bloggy names” for them (here, and here)

#875… for all Your little touches on my life, and how they do, and always will serve as reminders of how real You are – even though I can’t see or touch You.

And this…

It’s been a little more than six months since Sara’s been gone. She kept believing, kept shining Your light brighter and brighter until hers was finally burned out. I think barely anyone noticed…I knew this time would come.

#876… that I was able to talk to some who did notice.

#877… that even better than in those dreams she had, where she could run and dance, the kingdom, which has come for her, is so much better than the best moment she ever lived on this earth.

#878… for her faith, it remains a beacon for me to follow…from here to eternity.

{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }

Christina April 16, 2012 at 8:09 am

I too often fail to long for the next world, where Paul described it as all gain. Beautiful twin nieces! How exciting! Praying for your sleep!

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Craig April 16, 2012 at 10:01 am

thank you Christina…and sometimes I think it’s harder when life is all good, to “look forward” to the coming of the kingdom – when life is harder, messier, it’s easier. Maybe that’s one reason why it’s harder for rich man to get into the kingdom than for the camel to go through the eye of the needle. Thank you for your prayers Christina, although it’s just my thorn, that’s all. And as always. thank you for your kind words, God bless and keep you my friend.

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Southern Gal April 16, 2012 at 10:42 am

Oh, sweet baby girls. That’s my favorite this week although I heart the long 5 second rule, too. 😉

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Craig April 16, 2012 at 10:52 am

I’ve learned that there are two key secrets to bloggy success – one is having baby pictures in your posts – the other is having pictures of cute fluffy lambs ㋡ oh the swooning!!!!

… And 5 seconds – two days – hopefully less than a week (at least for biodegradable stuff) – germs are quick – they’re everywhere – we can’t be faster than them anyway – so why try? ㋡

thank you, and God bless and keep you and all of yours!

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Carrie April 16, 2012 at 11:24 am

Perhaps I’m an abnormality because on some days, I pray desperately for Him to come! Come and deliver me from this crazy world and bring peace to my troubled, weary heart. Then as He always does, He calms me and reminds me to look at all the precious gifts…the precious moments on earth….I quickly realize life here is so fleeting that I’d better enjoy each morsel :) Blessings to you and congratulations on the new family arrivals!

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Craig April 16, 2012 at 7:15 pm

My guess is that more people are attached to this earth tightly – but don’t like to admit it in certain circles – you know? We say one thing but privately don’t pine much for heaven. I’m in that camp – yours is a better one to be in. And it is wise to remember what you say, to enjoy more each morsel of life – good and bad. I’m working on that ツ God bless you Carrie.

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Cora April 16, 2012 at 12:57 pm

Craig, I didn’t check, but does the word, “normal,” even appear in the Bible? I wonder if any of us think we live “normal” lives! If anything, God made a point to let us know that we are all different, we are His own creative personal poem, each a masterpiece, each different in a million and one ways. No normal, no sameness. I wonder where standards of normalness came from, anyways??? We all have what we would think are flaws — those things that hurt, make us feel badly, not like others, and become what seem to be handicaps. I ached for you reading about your “memories of normal.” I can’t imagine going through what you are —- and I remember thinking I could never go through what Sara went through.

I have to disagree with you, Craig, on one thing. Sara’s light has not gone out. Her life changed so many of us . And it still blazes on, multiplied by thousands, through each and every one of us who have chosen joy as a way of life. We may not often speak of it, but we are changed and living it out every day. Even yesterday, I found a smile on my face where I hardly ever smile. I’m not smiley. But I have chosen joy, and it has turned up a smile for me. So the light still shines — even in YOU!

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Craig April 16, 2012 at 7:26 pm

Cora, I never could imagine it either – but now that it’s happened, and has been like way this so long – “normal” is now memories and dreams. It is what it is – just a thorn. And to have Sara’s outlook – and Sara’s faith – I NEVER want to forget how she lived. So I know her light shines on – I was just being poetic about the end of life. And thank you – but I know I need to CHOOSE JOY more often. Workin’ on that – I have lots to work on ツ God bless you my friend!

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Court April 16, 2012 at 7:01 pm

So lovely. I often daydream about what our lives will be like in heaven and have fantasies about what it will be like. Somehow, harps on a cloud, I think not. Can’t wait for our real lives to begin most days, especially days when the two year old has been whining all. day. long. like today.

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Craig April 16, 2012 at 7:31 pm

I’m not sure of all the details, I do think this – whatever heaven is, it’s where all bad is gone, all good is better, and love reigns ALL the time – and forever. Hell is the opposite, all bad is worse, all good is gone, and love never makes an appearance. And Court – your mama heart shines through your “complaint” about day long whining – I can see it ツ God bless!!

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Lisa notes April 16, 2012 at 8:08 pm

Your twin nieces are such cuties, Craig! What a blessing that they’re healthy.

Glad you’re still remembering Sara. I wish I had read more of her. What an amazing woman she was/is. And you as her friend, never forgetting.

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Craig April 16, 2012 at 8:26 pm

My baby sister’s babies – yup – sweet little ones ツ And her two year old is adorable as well. And Sarah – sweet Sara – she was a friend to me as you are, only through this bloggy world – but her words – and the end of her life – moved me like little else has – I never want to forget. Thank you Lisa, thank you, and God bless you.

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Mari April 16, 2012 at 10:50 pm

Just today I was counseling a woman who is having nightmares and avoids sleep so not to have them. So I am glad that you can see that “normal” time during sleep as a blessing.
5 second rule…I stretch it sometimes as well! And baby nieces, well how can that not be my favorite on your list?

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Craig April 17, 2012 at 12:21 pm

Ahhhhh, but the normal DURING the dreams, as lovely as it is, it’s not really appreciated as it;s happening, because it feels just as it SHOULD feel. Then, when the waking comes, and the normal is gone, that’s when it’s hard to open my eyes. It’s just my thorn, that’s all. Also, I figured the baby nieces would be swooned over ㋡ God bless you Mari, I can tell you must be a GREAT counselor!!

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