Love is braver than invisible

by Craig on April 20, 2012

Searching for post pictures, I found these. ^.^ So…first with the funny…then with the heavy.  ツ

Love is braver than invisible. NOT hiding when it's all you want to dosource

Love is braver than invisible. NOT hiding when it's all you want to dosource

Love is braver than invisible. NOT hiding when it's all you want to dosource

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I heart funny cat pictures! If you need a laugh later, come back…but stop laughing now…this is serious.

I’m feeling share-ish.

And so…

I’ll tell you…

I’ve been wanting to be invisible lately…
staying where I find safety and comfort…
or at least not danger and discomfort.

Sometimes a lack of those last two is enough of an invitation to hide.

I always hide with God…but hiding is still…hiding.

The hiding I learned early, with the father who got rid of his hurts by beating a child. I learned that if I stayed out of the way, in my room, quiet as a frightened rabbit in its hole, disappearing into a world of make-believe where I was and safe and strong…he was less likely to find me.

I learned that if I stayed out of the way, in my room, quiet as a frightened rabbit in its hole...source

When you’re in a home as a child…
things are smashed on a daily basis…
voices raised and fists unleashed…
the best way to avoid hurt is to be invisible.

I shouldn’t, but I can’t help but heart…invisible.

Some people are stronger, braver, better, and they can overcome these things. Me?

Not so strong.
Not so brave.
Not so…better.

Drop…
curl up…
fewer things exposed…
fewer things to hit…
less of you to be bruised.

Yet I long to be the unfurled flag rippling in the wind…
not folded up in crisp. clean, neat triangle…in the closet.

First name Craig…
middle name…
Contradiction.

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And I think as I write this of Sara…
been thinking of her a lot lately…
six months ago that she died.

She wasn’t a hider.  But her illness forced her into isolation.
And she chose joy as often as I choose to hide.

She was strong.
She was brave.
She was…better.

She was like Anne Frank…
forced by circumstance to hide…
wanting to do anything but.

Tonight I want to hide but I won’t (I think).

Tonight is a get-together of people attending St. Louis Bloggy Boot Camp.

The official conference starts tomorrow and I plan to ask questions and listen and learn.

There will hallways to hide in…
and restrooms, and lobbies, and parking lots.
But no hiding tonight, though it’s all I want to do.

By the way, do you want me to share all that I learn at Bloggy Boot Camp?
I know that not all of you blog so I’ll ask before I get share-ish.

Let me know.

Anyway…

the chipmunk hides in the hole…
but if it remains underground it dies.

Tonight, while longing for the hole…I will be with other chipmunks…hoping no coyotes or hawks will be in attendance.source

Above the ground await…
the talons of the hawk…
the jaws of the coyote…
but also sun…
and nourishment…
and other chipmunks.

Tonight, while longing for the hole…

I will be with other chipmunks…

hoping no coyotes or hawks will be in attendance.

{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }

Cora April 20, 2012 at 12:26 pm

My father had an expresion, half dutch, half english that sounded like “Hecht now!” Lots of gutteral emphasis on the ” ..cht!” And that’s what I said after reading this. Gees, Craig, you stole my pitch! I just finished typing almost the exact same thing to someone about myself. Me, here wanting to be a part of everything, but running like a scared chipmunk to find my safe hole. I’m not even sure I’m that comfortable running with other chipmunks. Someone at my church offered to come look at my broken air conditioner. I seriously thought about finding a new church!!!!! That’s how bad it is for me.

And yes, put my vote on the yes side for the bloggy information. If it’s a man speaking, he will probably tell me to get rid of all the frilly looking stuff, the music, and stuff down the side. If it’s a woman, maybe she’ll have a little more grace and talk more about the content of the posts. But either way, I want to hear all about it!

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Cora April 20, 2012 at 12:27 pm

PS: I LOVE those cats!!!!! Purrfect!

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Dawn April 20, 2012 at 6:05 pm

You know, after reading the post and then Cora’s comments, I suddenly understand why there are no interesting people out and about. You are all hiding in some hole somewhere! “Hecht now!” Get out with the rest of the chipmunks and report back on the Bloggy Boot Camp. We’ll all be waiting for you here at the hole.

Twiddling thumbs,
Dawn

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Cora April 20, 2012 at 8:32 pm

Dawn, I don’t laugh out loud very often, but you got one out of me here! I even had to snort a little! I can just see you pulling me out of my chipmunk hole yelling, Hecht now!!!! Oh me!!!!

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Craig April 23, 2012 at 12:11 pm

just so you know – I popped out of the hole – — back in – and danced back and forth between the two for the whole thing. You know some of the back story – and why that might have happened – well – talk to you soon. God bless you my friend.

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Court April 21, 2012 at 12:02 pm

oh. i am very much a chipmunk. i find that when i’m in my little hole it often doesnt just hurt me but my sweet family that is trying for all the world to scramble down in there with me. would that i would rise up out of it more often and be brave!

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Craig April 23, 2012 at 12:14 pm

Court, sorry I’m late responding to your comment, I was at Bloggy Boot Camp – and oh, that hole, sometimes we need to be kicked out of it, sometimes we need to be dragged out of it, sometimes we need to be hugged out of it. Sometimes hugs = bravery. No?

God bless you Court, and thank you.

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A. April 22, 2012 at 7:14 pm

Invisible Movie explosion is my favorite!!! Laughing!!!!

Hurts to think of how often you had to hide to be safer, to feel a bit safer. I hope you do go to Bloggy Camp, and as often as you venture into the spotlight, the unsafe places, let us know what you learn and know that back in your camp, you have people who heart what you do here, and heart you because of it.

Love seeing the baby pictures…the little unfolding princesses…and precious Mia!

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Craig April 23, 2012 at 12:17 pm

I have a feeling that’s everybody’s favorite A. and I DID go to Bloggy Boot Camp – and I learned a little more about myself – and a little more about blogging – and met some nice people – and I came running home here because I knew you guys are here. Here is kind of like home. God bless you A.

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Brandee Shafer April 23, 2012 at 5:52 pm

I kind of like the invisible shopping cart, myself. I’m glad you had a good time at Bloggy Boot Camp. And I just wanted to say I’m really sorry for the hurts you’ve suffered, also glad to know: God never wastes our hurts. Every hurt helps to make us who we are, and I think you’re wonderful.

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Craig April 23, 2012 at 6:31 pm

I’m a never been married, not young man reading and writing in a community of Christian moms – some get it – I think everyone who has read me for a bit does – and some don’t. I get it a little – there are wolves to watch out for – I AM NOT one. Anyway, it’s in this community where the most imspiring words on the internets live. SO here I stay. Thank you for getting it Brandee – and really – it’s hard to go wrong with a good funny cat picture ツ God bless!!

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Tracie April 24, 2012 at 7:19 pm

I know that hiding instinct too well, I’ve been fighting it hard (some days more successfully than others) for the past month.

So, one chipmunk to another….hello! *ducks back in hole*

I would love to hear what you learned at the Bloggy Boot Camp. I’ve never been to a blogging conference, so it would be all new, interesting stuff to me!

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Craig April 25, 2012 at 4:38 pm

First a quote from a famous person…

Life is friendlier with two ~ Winnie the Pooh.

animals like sparrows and meerkats – I heart how they all stick together to support each other – to cover each other’s backs – to let each other know when there’s trouble about. And I’m sure there is been at least one chipmunk who pulled another one out of his hole when he really needed it somewhere in the history of the world.

There was good, bad, and in between for me at the conference – it’s a tricky spot I have in this community – and it always leads to just a little bit too much drama – both external and internal, but I learned stuff to – there are incredibly smart, talented, magnificent women who blog in our community. Anyway, thank you Tracie.

PS May Regina get everything she deserves ツ and also Mary Margaret (secret code just for you)

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Tracie April 28, 2012 at 11:40 pm

I love that quote!

You do have to walk a line in this community, but I’m very happy that you are here.

On the PS – yes and yes!! 😉

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Craig May 2, 2012 at 4:09 pm

…and the line is blurry…and it’s different for different people…it’s a bit of a trick. Thank you for always being so nice. And about Regina – the poor kid does have a bunch of emotional baggage. No? I bet the story ends, not withe her being defeated – but love wooing her over to the good side. Just sayin’ ツ

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