Love tries to remember what the dormouse said

by Craig on June 15, 2012

When logic and proportion…
have fallen sloppy dead…

and the White Knight…
is talking backwards

and the Red Queen is…
Off with her head!”

Remember

what the dormouse said.

I cannot get this song out of my head now.
I play it again and again and again.
And that’s a good thing, really.
It’s pushing back at the unreality of last week.
It’s helping me fight the delusions that won’t go away.

It’s reminding me…

of the flow…

of time.

It’s reminding me…
time doesn’t stop…
it doesn’t freeze…

and hallucination is just that…

hallucination and delusion.

And we do it all the time.
Not like this week of no sleep…
We don’t hallucinate, but we delude.

Atheists for instance ignore the reality that there must have been an un-begun beginning and Beginner.
And we “of little faith” ignore how faith is the only answer to all the questions…we ignore what atheists ignore.

How are we any better than them?

Woodstock was like another time.
It came from nowhere.
It blossomed full and dramatic.

It was over in a flash…

just like 3 years…

in the 1st century.

Didn’t He say he was coming back?
Didn’t He say the Kingdom was in our midst?

Why is it taking so long?

What do we do now?

Nobody is alive…
who was alive…
with Him?

How to keep His message clear?
Time erodes like waves on the shore…
and we forget…and we fill in blanks…

we dilute…
and delude.

I can’t explain how days…
for me…

Time.
Meant.
Nothing.

There was no sleep and no reality.

The White Knight was talking backwards…
The chess pieces were telling me where to go.

I remember seeing this video on TV when I was too young to really remember anything.

It was before the man my mother married had a chance to destroy me with violence.

I didn’t understand it.
It was strange and distorted.
The girl singing was too loud…

but I liked looking at her…

and I didn’t like it when the song was over.

I understand now.

It was all about drugs…

but…

it was also about stepping out of reality…

and it’s helping me step. back. in.

Because it’s so hard…
this stepping back in…

But.

I’m.

Trying.

I’ll answer everybody’s comments today.
And I’ll add pictures later.
I’m not quite back yet.

One step. One step. One step.

And I’ll be writing about this on both blogs, please read both blogs, please trace these posts back to the start, and understand this with me?

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Katie June 15, 2012 at 9:51 pm

Craig,

Oh the escape of reality is what so many people seek, through drugs, denial or many other means, and yet you did NOT seek it but it was forced upon you by your sleep disorder. I do not pretend to know what you are going through, but I am here to listen and pray for you. Keep coming back Craig and keep clinging to Jesus, he is reality and truth you can trust even in the delusions and hallucinations.

I shared several posts back about what God has done for me on my blog finally…… but you don’t worry about that now, you concentrate on yourself and God and what you need to do for you now. I just wanted you to know to encourage you, you can get through this just as you encouraged me to keep clinging to God during my stuff.

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Craig June 21, 2012 at 4:37 pm

continuing to intermittently blog – that was one of the first steps – now replying to comments – going back through them – that’s another step – one step at a time – thank you for your praying, thank you for being here, thank you Katie.

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