Love, though suffering, does not ignore the agony of others

by Craig on August 29, 2012

Loves helps someone - even if one is in a precarious position...

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It’s funny, that at this time, when I find myself in need of more help than ever before. I have this strange serendipity (maybe God?) which has placed in my life five people, for whom I am in the perfect position to help.

Even though my life is in shambles…
and more so because of the 7 days of no sleep and its aftermath…

I can’t ignore those who need my help, just because I am in need of more?

Can I?

Would love disregard the heartrending state of others just because my own state is dire?

And of course, I wonder if I’m helping others just to dodge my own issues.
Because this is not love, to avoid dealing with things in one’s own life by “helping”.

I know I’ve done this before.
I know others who have done this…
and had it end in the worst possible ways.

So I ask the only One with all the answers.

I ask Love.

I ask God.Didn't know the answer, so I went to the SOURCE | I prayed..

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What is it that You would do? Would You ignore people who clearly need Your support, and for whom You are in the prime position to offer such assistance, and only help yourself?

Would you disregard your mission in order to attend to them?

Or would the helping…
though appearing to divert You…
actually be a major commission of your mission?

I have a dream to follow.

I have a life far from normal.
I have maybe this one. last. chance….
at a life I can not be embarrassed by.

I am clearly in more need of aid and kindness now than I have ever been.

You know this.

So in this situation what would You do, if You were me?

Would your choice be to ignore them and help myself?
Or help them while helping myself – and being open to help?
Or ignore myself and help only them?

What would love dictate?

Love helps others, and in doing so, helps oneself

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The answer I got, though not immediately…
is that love would not ignore my own pitiful situation…

but…

love would also not ignore theirs.

I can bolster these people in a way that no one else can.

It might be the best way out of my personal “rabbit hole”.
On the other hand…it may be a way of falling further in.

I’m open to your advice.

Our Lord likes to work through those whom he loves, for those whom he loves.

But right now the message I have is this.

Love helps.

Love does not ignore the desperate heartsounds of others…
just because one’s own heart is bleeding, crying, or dying.

{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

A. August 30, 2012 at 2:15 pm

Craig, what an interesting post. I have been struggling with this very thing, also. My desperate needs are not identical to yours, but I have needs. There are needs in my family. And when I thought I had nothing, nothing left to give emotionally, my family needed me for what felt like a very long time. It was only a matter of weeks, but it was intense and I was completely drained going into the time. Each day and section of day I had to ask for His indwelling and wisdom.

Now I am back and the challenge here has renewed with intensity. At the same time, I was given an unusual book on this general topic which is REALLY challenging me! I am simply having to spend time seriously asking God what He wants me to do in this situation.

So, I really feel this one. I am, AM praying for you and for your needs. Because my response sounds like its all about me, and I know it isn’t. You do have very serious needs, and yet you do somehow continue to reach out. May God strengthen and uplift and bless you richly, and that is not said tritely. I think you are right-He so often has us continue to reach out to others in the midst of our own trials.

A.

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Craig September 1, 2012 at 10:44 am

one of the things I didn’t used to think – but I have learned – is all of the stuff we share in common – so as you told me all about your stuff – I could see bits and pieces of myself in there as well – we share so much – why don’t we stop and realize this – it only brings us closer together – people! I’m glad you got to help – I hope you’re not alone in your struggle – none of us are really – not if we know our Lord – but still people count – people help – people need people. And I never think you’re trite – and I never think your comments are self-centered. God bless you A.

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Mari August 30, 2012 at 9:52 pm

Craig, there are few things as healing as focusing on others. But I get what you are saying; about not doing it to AVOID our own pain. But I have a suspicion that this is not your motivation in helping these people in your life. I think that when we look past our own pain to that of others, God blesses us in many ways. So for your sake and for that of those 5 ppl, I am glad God has given you this opportunity.

Blessings,
Mari

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Craig September 1, 2012 at 11:14 am

to be in the right place at the right time – even if helping comes at a cost – it wouldn’t be love to NOT do it. But I do have to be careful, because I think this is an awfully crucial time in my life – and to avoid dealing with what I must deal with now – that would also not be Love. Balance – it always comes down to balance doesn’t it? Anyway, blessings to you too Mari, and thank you my friend.

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Katie August 31, 2012 at 12:42 am

I think you clearly stated reasons NOT to help others, like if it is being used to ignore your own pain. I know this path. I have done it, as you have. “love would not ignore my own pitiful situation…but…love would also not ignore theirs.” It is a fine line and a balancing act sometimes. I think you hit it on the head. If you are doing it to because God is sharing with you to do it then you can not go wrong. If you are doing it for any other reason then don’t, like distractions and business and codependency. Helping others can be a drug all its own if it distracts you from LOVE. If you find that later it is hindering you in your own needs and walk with God then back off. At the same time helping others can be healing when done with love because it gets us out of our own selfishness. Just being aware there may be fine line to walk is the biggest step there is.

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Craig September 1, 2012 at 11:16 am

I have so little to say to that awesome comment – just a big giant Amen – you know stuff! God bless!

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Katie September 1, 2012 at 3:52 pm

I deal with this all the time in my recovery group I facilitate at church. It is a fine line for me. I often become so absorbed in helping someone else I ignore my own pain and put my mask back on. I only know this because I live it every day, this balance of codependency. The only areas I am involved in at church are the Women’s Retreat and My recovery group, so I don’t get to busy and ignore myself. My recovery group is good at holding me accountable also and asking me about my week and how I am feeling and if I really feel that way.

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