Love Often Marries (pt 2)

by Craig on January 27, 2011

I’m writing from Blissdom, and it’s dark and all the keys look the same – forgive the occasional typo. But I want write for you guys – and sorry, but I have no time for pictures.

Remember, this is now what I thing about marriage – it’s just what the Bible says about it – I tend not to argue with the Bible too much, A commitment and closeness that is meant to last for life.  If I am fortunate enough to find a bride to cherish I am to “cling” to her. Cling sounds – well – clingy in English. But in the Hebrew it doesn’t have the “neediness” nuance. It is connection with passion and permanence.

Now this is some gramattical techy stuff – but important. Both “leaving” and “clinging”, in the Hebrew are in what’s called the “active voice”.  This means they are deliberate acts, intentional, not reflex, or instinct, or natural like breathing. A choice to be made, an intentional, for just one.

…and the two of them become one flesh. (GEN 2:24)

Now this word for “become” is the opposite. This one will happen. Remember, it’s not me, speaking from experience – or some books – or Oprah – it’s the Bible – and it says the “becoming” one flesh is a natural thing – like breathing.

I think it must go beyond “feeling” – because that’s us, and that’s fleeting.

I think we can ignore it, too, run from it, but it happens anyway.

It begins on day one and the Bible language implies that this will continue. Maybe that’s one reason why divorce can be so hard. Even if one person – or both destroy each other and want nothing to do with each other – that one-ness is still there.

“The man and his wife were both naked, yet they felt no shame” (GEN 2:25)


intimacy, even at the most basic level.



a  baring of both

before each other,

in confidence, knowing that what is bared will not be used as a weapon.

no hiding,

no concealing,

facades dropped,

masks off,

to be that transparent…

The more I write this, the more more two things are happenint.

One: it makes me long for it. The way God has designed marriage seems so beautiful. I’ve never been that transparent with anyone except Our Lord.

Two: It makes me incredibly sad for those marriages where things are all a mess, where this original design is mangled. I hurt for those people. I know a few. To be this close – and yet so far from one other. I can’t imagine how much pain there is for a marriage become opposite of the design.

Is marriage really like this? Does it ever approach this level – or is all this pie in the sky stuff? I can’t answer those question. Almost all of you who read me are married though. You can. All I know is what the Word says – and what it says – boy it sounds beautiful,

Husband and bride…

meant to lift, warm, support, help, resemble, compliment and complete each  other.  All of this growing as two more and more become “one”.

But I guess that’s what we humans do isn’t it. We mess up the design. That comes next – but that’s next Wednesday – when I link up with Ann Voskamp again.

In God’s love.

{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

Anonymuss January 27, 2011 at 1:06 pm

This is very good, Craig, and I am looking forward to next Wed.’s post. Love the typos. Seriously. It begins to sound like Laska and I heart Laska! :) Just grateful you have been willing to take time from your Blissdom experience to continue to share with us! That is a gift of generosity with your time!


Debbie January 29, 2011 at 4:52 am

I love what you are saying . . .what the bible says . . .how it says it and what it means. :) It gives me hope and grace and those are two very good things to have in marriage. God bless you and your heart for marriage. :)


Eryn {mamahall} January 31, 2011 at 7:29 am

beautiful thoughts, Craig. God designed marriage for the “pie in the sky” stuff that you write of here. He wrote it first. and it is possible to have a marriage like this, with God. what a GIFT He has given you- the gift of knowing all of this without ever having been married. He has prepared your heart, mind, and soul to be a God-designed husband to the bride He has waiting for you! I pray unmarried men, hungry for God-love, come across this blog ASAP.


Lisa notes... February 2, 2011 at 1:11 pm

Speaking from personal experience: I’ve been blessed with a “pie in the sky” marriage for the past 19 years (after 6 years in a marriage where my first spouse left for sweeter pie across town). But that doesn’t mean there hasn’t been many deep heartaches as well. But all worth it.

It’s a blessing to read of your heart’s excitement for marriage, put there by God. I pray that he will fulfill that desire for you sooner rather than later, and that you will continue trusting him with your heart in the meantime. Difficult, but possible with the Spirit’s help…



Craig February 2, 2011 at 1:21 pm

Thank you Lisa – I’ll take a perfect heaven sent suitable counterpart any time – and if not I’ll just stay married only to Our Lord – (but I really want the earthly one to share with – just sayin’)

God Bless


Amber February 12, 2011 at 6:41 pm

It is possible, not the completely perfect marriage, as God designed, since we messed that up a long time ago. The marriage that strives to honor God, honor one another, and grow a family as God desires. It is possible. It is work, but worth it. I did not think I would meet someone to compliment me, but God brought me Sam and he truly compliments, completes, challenges, and comforts me. It is so mulit-faceted, but such a beautiful thing.

Thank you for these words. It makes me thankful, again, for the gift God has brought me in my husband.


Craig February 12, 2011 at 6:54 pm

It makes me happy – (smiling right now) for you and Sam. I am glad I got the chance, that I was reminded, to pray for the two of you. God bless you both.


Leave a Comment

{ 1 trackback }

Previous post:

Next post: