Love is prompted to share stuff

by Craig on February 1, 2011

I am so not a writer. I mean not a real wordsmith, not a poet. I read words by Sara Sophia and Amber Haines and my mish mash looks full of blech.

Don’t get me wrong. I like what I write. I think you guys do too. But it’s not all gracy and flowy and pretty and artistic. I know this because I read really good writers (see above).

And while I was at blissdom the above mentioned, real writers, did a writery thing called prompts. They gave out an idea – and said, “Now write about it.”

Free flowing writing.

I had just wandered in late because I was staying at another hotel.

It was a really nice hotel with a BIG name. But it had no cold water. I tried like a trooper to take a shower and be tough, but it just made me all red and lobstery.

It was ok though, because they gave me a key to another room to take a shower in. But it wasn’t really that ok,

because…

to get there I had to walk through snow and ice.

But I digress.

And fine, while I’m at it – yes – a big truck did make a rock jump up and smash my windshield – that slowed me down a little too.

And while I’m on a roll, I might as well share this….

When I got to the 1,000 square mile maze of marvelousness  that is Opryland I parked at exactly the furthest point away from where I needed to be to register. I couldn’t park in guest parking until I registered, and so just left the car in front of the really nice entry way.

Then a twenty minute walk to the lobby on the other side of the massiveness to register and get a key. I waved to the Blissdom registration desk enroute.

Then once in the lobby – and I know I sound like I’m making this up now – my reservation wasn’t there – and we had that bit of drama.

All the while the first writing class was zooming along – sans me.

When I got my key I had to go back to the car – waving again to the Blissdom registration desk. The nice security guy who was just about to have my car towed – didn’t.

That was nice.

Then it was back inside and onto Blissdom registration – and my my writing exercise.

By the way, there’s so much more I COULD write about, like packing in 50 degree temps because my power went out, and Laska the love kitty stealing things from my suitcase and hiding them under the bed. And not letting go of me as I dropped him off – but I won’t tell you about all that.

Now the prompt:

What is your greatest fear?

What would it be like without it?

Beware everybody, I’m going to get revealy here.

Remember that one time I told you to keep reading, but close your eyes?

Might want to do that again.

This is exactly how I wrote it. No editing. I think that’s part of the process. Here goes…

Not being accepted

Not being “part of”

disliked, alone, shunned

different

unwanted

never succeeding (ok I have plural biggest fears)

the voices that say you can’t do it

stay still, don’t try,

hide.

Without the fear I wouldn’t shake.  I’d stand firm.  Knees would be still.

I’d just be more me,

natural me,

unmasked, easy, strong, weak

but OK.

Now here (at Blissdom) I’m sticking out.

I can hide this fear. I can do bravado. I can pretend.

Anyway – without the fear I’d be more confident,

humble

open

now

unbound.

It’s nice and all. Now you know more about me. But it’s not Shakespeare, or Haines.

I’ll practice.

In God’s Love

{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }

Marie February 1, 2011 at 11:42 am

Hello Craig…I read your last post and…well…I was touched…I feel like I needed to add a comment…forgive me, I sometimes can’t find my words and I’m quite afraid my English does not always make sense :) anyway….!
First, I wanted to tell you that I find your writing beautiful and quite artistic…of course, we all need practice, but I love what you write because you do it honestly, just with who you are…with the vulnerability that goes with precious transparence.
Then, coming to the greatest fear…I used to be afraid of not being perfect enough for Jesus and it took a long time for me to realize that He made me who I am and that He loves me just for who I am in Him. This always comforts me especially when I struggle with negative voices…just feeling loved by God is the sweetest feeling I’ve ever had and I would love to live always and forever in this Love! So, I try to rely on what God tells about me…(I love reading the Song of songs, thinking that we are all the Bride of Christ…His beloved!)
Well, as a conclusion :) always be true Craig and remember that the very first day you came on earth…God smiled at you…and so do I.
Blessings,
Marie.

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Craig February 1, 2011 at 11:54 am

Marie, thank you. Your English is better than my French. I know of your fear because I’ve read about it. And I know that YOU KNOW you are a perfect bride of Christ.

I am inspired just by reading your comment. And smiling.

God bless.

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Sharon @ Hiking Toward Home February 1, 2011 at 12:53 pm

Thanks for sharing your fear(s). It lives in my skin too. Oh to live with solid confidence. I just wrote a post and am determine to publish and link up to Emily’s Imperfect Prose on Thursday. Scared to death to hit publish, will do it with hand over eyes, peeking between fingers. It was good to read this today.

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Craig February 1, 2011 at 12:58 pm

Sharon – I’m just now getting back to “normal” I’ll start reading in a day or two – you know I’ll be reading you. God Bless. and thank you.

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Craig February 1, 2011 at 12:59 pm

And P.S. – you were supposed to be reading that with your eyes closed. :)

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edie February 1, 2011 at 7:42 pm

dear craig,
i know. the first time i read amber, i was stunned.
i’m completely enamored with powerful writing.
i seek it out. it’s why i can’t stop reading c.s. lewis.
but i do believe you have quite a gift in this area. you’re a natural.
and as for your greatest fear? it is universally our collective fear since the fall in the garden. adam and eve hid. just like we hide.
but then our Savior knows. and He seeks out that one lost sheep that’s hiding.
and He brings us Home where we find safety and belonging.
we are home in Him.
we are all home.
it’s an unbelievable gift.

such a joy to meet you. you say the kindest things.
always grace,
edie

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Craig February 1, 2011 at 7:50 pm

Edie, that means more to me than you can possibly know. Your insight, love for Our Lord, YOUR HEART, all sing praise. God Bless you. Thank you so much for reading, and leaving this comment here. If you “like the way I talk” – I’m on the right track. Meeting you was my single most magical moment of last week.

it is an unbelievable gift that we share – this gift He’s given us

thank you

always grace

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Anonymuss February 2, 2011 at 12:30 am

Craig, you are on a connection path this year, and the way you share so honestly, humbly…so real…makes you so approachable, connectable. And your writing…it needs no apologies! your writing touches the very place in souls that longs for realness, for honesty, for love the way you show it, for truth the way you share it, and for life the way you see it and learn from it! Most of all, when you connect, essences of Jesus are transferred in that connection. Thank you!!!

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Craig February 2, 2011 at 1:03 am

A. You are too nice. Thank you as always. You’ve been here from the beginning. I heart that.

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Debbie February 2, 2011 at 1:23 am

We’ve given A a new name while you were gone , Craig . . .but I think you will like it. A stands for Angel. :)
You did so good, to write that about your fear(s) . . .on the spot? Your writing is really unique and readable to me. Sometimes the flowy, artistic writing, while beautiful and wonderful, is hard for me to read . . .to get the real meaning out of it. You convey deep truths and the Word in ways that I can grasp and take away. You are one of a kind, with a gift that He is using! God bless you and thank you for letting Him write through you today!

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Faith Hope & Cherrytea February 3, 2011 at 8:51 pm

thx, Craig, for the visit & chat today at FHC ~
pleased to meet you – glad it spoke to you …
in reading this post & some of the comments, thought i’d heart share a little of my learnings ~
i’ve found that once i’d experienced Christ’s LOVE,
life changed…
Ephesians 3:19 (Amplified Bible)
19[That you may really come] to know [practically, through experience for yourselves] the love of Christ, which far surpasses mere knowledge [without experience]; that you may be filled [through all your being] unto all the fullness of God [may have the richest measure of the divine Presence, and become a body wholly filled and flooded with God Himself]!

once we KNOW that LOVE, and KNOW who we ARE in Christ –
seriously, by experience – that deep deep KNOWING –
you no longer believe you’re an orphan.
you see yourself , you believe yourself, to BE who you really & truly are.
from His perspective.
you now live eyes wide open. reality. TRUTH. confidence.
there isn’t a minute i don’t KNOW i’m loved… walk in that love.

spend time in His Presence. in intimate relationship. go deeper than head thoughts.
get to His heart for you. ask Him who you ARE. ask Him what He’d like to tell you ~
wait, pen in hand for His replies… you’ll be glad you did!
then review often. and ask more questions.
this is His coming in and ‘supping’ with you and you with Him ~ ALL of the Trinity ~
the fullness, richness, warmth and welcome of God’s hospitality…

just BE!
enJOY your journey “)
it’s not about a destination.
or performance.
it’s about BEING…
complete. whole. real.

grace & peace ~
FHC
it’s about a relationship.

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Craig February 3, 2011 at 9:01 pm

Hmmmmmm. I think maybe that might have been the thing. I was asked a “prompt” by a writer, surrounded by other writers. I may just do what you say. Sit down and do this prompt again – but center only on Our Lord. Pen in hand, just like I did the prompt in the class. See what happens. Good idea.

Still, if there are those among us who don’t feel these feelings, saved or not, I mean at least sometimes – well I think we do like to hide our hurts.

ANd this,
“just BE! enJOY your journey “)
it’s not about a destination.
or performance.
it’s about BEING…
complete. whole. real. ”

LOVE THAT! Thank you. I really enJOYed this comment. Stuff to think on and pray about. God Bless.

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