Love has the best blame-fest ever

by Craig on November 9, 2011

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I’m not the me I was.
And it’s your fault.

It’s addictive this sharing thing that comes with connecting.

You know pieces of me that no one has ever known.
I’ve outgrown my shell, and I can’t really close off anymore.

And seriously – it’s your fault.

And the person disappointing me last week…
that could never have happened before…
and it’s going to happen again isn’t it?

When you don’t go past the surface, nor let anyone pass yours, people can’t disappoint you. So I’ve rarely been so disappointed – and have rarely disappointed others. Now both can happen – and will.

And it’s your fault.

I’ve been a solo act to an empty auditorium…

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and when the seats were filled…
I turned off the microphones and whispered.

And now surface isn’t enough…
and I heart the filled seats…
and I heart knowing who’s in each seat – deeper than surface…
and I heart that you know me – deeper than surface.

Love is deeper than surface.
Jesus is love.
He was deeper than surface.
Jesus disappointed people.
Jesus was disappointed.

Do you know…
that every morning…
I have the deepest need to write…

for you.

I have to get words written and posted…
because it’s important for me…
not to disappoint you.

And I say that Jesus disappointed people.
It seems strange you can disappoint by being perfect.
They didn’t expect perfect…
they kinda didn’t want perfect…
they wanted a king sent by God, and born in a palace…

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they got God and man and servant and manger – and were disappointed.
And yet, though he disappointed, he never let anyone down.

That doesn’t sound possible.
Obviously it was.

But he was let down.

Those twelve of his never really got it.

He told them to take the gospel to the edges of the world. They became rolly polly bugs and stayed inside the gates of Jerusalem.  It took Paul, not of the twelve, to take the gospel out to the Roman Empire – and to us.

Peter asked to walk on water.
How disappointing for Jesus…
when Peter stopped believing the miracle…
and sank.

And in that boat…stormy sea…Jesus sleeps…the 12 panic.

Then he asked them, “Why are you terrified? Do you not yet have faith?” (MK4:40)

The words seem plain, but I see a tear in his eye.

And when Peter denied him?

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Oh…

And when, from the Cross, he could only see John, and the Mary’s, and none of the others. I would’ve rolled up into a little ball long before that, but he never has – never will.

So here I am, unrolled, and vulnerable, and stronger.
I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to stay rolled up again now.

And that’s your fault.

When it brings hurt, or happiness…
or help, or hindrance…
I’m open now…
and I can’t stop being that way…
and I don’t want to.

And it’s your fault.

And I’m more like Our Lord.

And it’s your fault.

Love doesn’t close up, love doesn’t close off, love doesn’t close down.

Love stays open and strong.

I’m more like love now.

And that’s your fault.

Thank you.

{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

Victoria Jenkins November 9, 2011 at 10:25 am

Sorry!!!
.
.
.
.
Not!!!!
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.
.
.You’re welcome 😀

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Craig November 10, 2011 at 11:33 am

First – you know I’m sorry for being late in responding – second – I want you to know I smiled because of what you said – and how you said it – and how you got it. God bless you, Victoria!

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Linda November 9, 2011 at 5:13 pm

lol Craig. I was going to lol you for your comment on my blog (how did you know?) but I gotta lol you for this post. Cool, how love is to blame cuz we are no longer the same! (thank heavens)

God bless you my friend. Thank you for your prayers.

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Craig November 10, 2011 at 11:37 am

Linda, I just kind of knew it – from all I’ve read of you – I knew it couldn’t be a lot of things – I knew it wouldn’t be something that would hurt others – I knew it wouldn’t be something that is really WRONG – I just kind of knew it would be nail biting. And that moment when you said it was – I couldn’t help but laugh and smile. And I think you might have gotten things a little wrong about this post – it’s not love that I blame (I’m not that creative) – it’s reading so many amazing Christian women – women like you – that’s what’s done the changing. The good changes in me, Lynda, there YOUR fault. God bless and keep you my friend.

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