Love isn’t so much afraid of stuff

by Craig on January 16, 2012

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Over on Deep into Scripture I’ve been studying Bernard of Clairvaux’s thousand year old 12 steps of pride…

steps that he says, in the end, prevent grace…
step number 6 is called “conceit”…
it’s the voice that cries out…

“I am in no need of that correction, I already know about it. Move on.”

So I’ve been looking through my comment section and gleaning the wisdom you have been so kind to leave me there.

I don’t so much heart correction and advice
…and so…
this is a way to work on that.

I don’t so much heart fear…
and I’m working on that too.

And I’m afraid to do something…
something some of you have told me not to be afraid of.

Even just a couple of weeks ago when I gave away some of my little love devotionals – which, by the way, are finally all now in the mail – so if you don’t receive yours this week please let me know.

Anyway I have this…

and truth…
my insomnia keeps me from being able to work a 9-5…
but it doesn’t stop me from writing in between energy and coherence and sleepy crashes…
and editing makes the writing turn out not so bad sometimes…
so my hope is to be able to make a humble income, somehow, through my words.

Which brings me back to this…

I have about 30 of what I call “Love Notes”.
It’s like those little flippy calendars…
you know…like you keep on the kitchen counter or a desk.

And I mean this…

I really do…

“Love Notes” could change the world.

This little flippy calendar is what’s behind this blog.

See up on the blog header…
up top and over to the right,

“God’s immeasurable love in little loveable bite-sized pieces.”

That’s “Love Notes”.
It’s my treasure.
It’s how I learned to love the way God wants me to.

One little piece of 1 Cor 13 Love on each little page.

And I really need to not keep these things hidden…

I need to sell them somewhere…

and I’m afraid to do it here.

But here’s the thing…
I’m supposed to be learning from my comments right now…
and this is a little of what I’ve been told…

in my comments….

on my blogs…

source

Layla from Flat (Tire)d said,“Dude, put ‘em up for sale! I’ll help get the word out if you do…and what better time than Valentine’s Day?”

But I think…
“If I don’t try I can’t fail.”

I don’t heart failing.

And Cindy from 12 Tribes wrote, “I would pay you for this…And I think your corral + horses + lies e-book [my Love War Against the Negative Voices – over in the side bar – in the “Lots of Love” section] still needs to happen, and I would pay for that too, and publicize it…”

And more of you told me the same.

But I’m still scared.

A little more tomorrow as I pick up some courage…

I know I left it around here somewhere…

maybe under the covers…

maybe I’ll look there.

{ 26 comments… read them below or add one }

Stacy January 16, 2012 at 9:40 am

Interesting thoughts on pride. I’m going to have to go look for the posts on it. We talked about pride in the spiritual formation class I just finished up. We came to the conclusion (with a little help from our teacher and C.S. Lewis) that pride is the worst of the sins because pretty much everything else is rooted in it and it is the the big divider between us and God.

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Craig January 16, 2012 at 1:33 pm

Stacy, those thousand-year-old steps by Bernard of Clairvaux are a very, very, very well kept secret in the ancient Christian writings. Every seminary library has a copy hidden away somewhere. The copy I found was a tiny little paperback hidden among massive textbooks on ethics. I found it by mistake – well maybe not so much mistake – are there really mistakes were God is concerned? Anyway – I totally agree with CS Lewis – surprise I know – pride is the original sin – it was Satan’s sin before we ever committed one – and it’s at the root of the sin of the garden – and like CS Lewis says – all of ours. Smart guy that Lewis. Anyway, thank you Stacy, and God bless and keep you!

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Nacole@sixinthesticks January 16, 2012 at 10:13 am

Craig,

being a stay at home mom, i dont get to buy books as much as i would like, but i would definitely be interested and would pay for the love-flippy calendar! it would be a perfect reminder sitting on my kitchen counter. and i might be interested as well in the voice horses book. i believe it might could be a great seller! you should defintely do the love-flippy for Valentines. i would put the button on my blog to help you! whatever you need! just ask. im there.

blessings friend,

Nacole

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Craig January 16, 2012 at 1:29 pm

Nacole, in one of my thousands of previous drafts to this post, I noted that now, once I’ve written this, I could expect more encouragement – because of how nice everybody who reads me is – how nice YOU are. And look – comment number two – and here it is already. I am so, so, so not used to such encouragement – so much garbage for God to wash away in my thinking. More tomorrow. Blessings to you to my friend.

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Cora January 16, 2012 at 2:03 pm

I’m agreeing with what everyone has said here. Years ago, I read everything I could get my hands on. Then something happened. Maybe it was stress, burn out — I don’t know. I was reduced to “flip calendars.” Two or three sentences was all I could take in. I have boxes of flip calendars. I won’t part with them. I totally envy anyone who can say something profound in a few sentences. It takes LOTS of words for me to get my point across.

Craig, since coming here, I have thought, “This is like a daily flip calendar — just enough to chew on, to remember throughout the day, to make a change here and there, etc. It’s like a beacon of light on a dark path, a guiding star, a city set on a hill — you can’t miss the light and it guides me home.

Set up a Paypal account, tellme what I owe for one of these, and I’ll be the first one there.
I, for one, would not be offended to see a box on your sidebar with a paypal button to purchase what you have written. I, too, want the horses, the daisies, and everything else that I’ve read since coming here.

And I’m not just being nice. I’m just being honest. I have thought about going back to the beginning of your blogs and just printing them out, but that’s a LOT of ink. But if that’s the only way I’mgoing to be able to do it, I will —- that’s a threat! Seriously, I do want one. How do I get on the list????

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Craig January 16, 2012 at 5:25 pm

thank you Cora, I know you get why I’m going to need to find a way – a different kind of way to make enough money to live – and this little love flippy calendar – although it doesn’t have that plastic stand – I don’t even know where I can get one of those – and it doesn’t have numbers – I know it changed MY life. and Cora, you know how hard it is for me to accept a compliment – I accept yours my friend – I trust you. And don’t go back to the beginning, I’m actually thinking about rewriting all those posts. The way I write now – what I’ve learned in just one year of reading blogs I heart – and picking up a little from everywhere – my writing now is so much better than it was – don’t look at those posts – all full of blargh and meh. Blech. Anyway, I take your threat seriously – and your motivation ツ more tomorrow on the love flippy calendar. God bless you my friend.

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Erin January 16, 2012 at 8:39 pm

I agree with Cora, set up the pay pay account, I would love to order one

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Craig January 18, 2012 at 9:10 am

Helow…
Iz laska th luv kitee. Kreg NOT iz feeling wel. Is soree he kant reply. I am havingz reeply foor u tu hav helpingz foor him. Kreg wantz me to be havingz of telling to u that he red coment but iz feelingz of tu much bad to reeply. Not onlee am I havingz of reeply but I am havingz of writingz BOTH blogz tuday – come! REED! Kreg an laska wil reeply tu all comentz.

Luv laska
ps kreg sez thaynk u foor beingz of nise

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Katie January 16, 2012 at 9:17 pm

Cora’s right! 😉

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Craig January 18, 2012 at 9:11 am

Helow…
Iz laska th luv kitee. Kreg NOT iz feeling wel. Is soree he kant reply. I am havingz reeply foor u tu hav helpingz foor him. Kreg wantz me to be havingz of telling to u that he red coment but iz feelingz of tu much bad to reeply. Not onlee am I havingz of reeply but I am havingz of writingz BOTH blogz tuday – come! REED! Kreg an laska wil reeply tu all comentz.

Luv laska

ps Kreg sez thaynk u katie

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Lisa Maria January 17, 2012 at 5:45 am

Craig, I fully support your relectant desire to try to earn some money. I understand your heart here..I’m much the same. I’m into ‘free love”…and I say that tongue in cheek here because I know what the 60’s interpretation of that is, but I know you get what I mean. If you think about it, though, its not like you’re looking to make extra money to support a gambling habit or for your own pleasures. God KNOWS that you have to live and survive just like everyone else, if you have a disability that prevents you from working as a ‘normal’ person would, then I don’t think He would frown upon you using your talents (God-given!) to earn a living. I hope you make the right decision and I pray God’s blessings on your endeavour.

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Craig January 18, 2012 at 9:12 am

Helow Lisa Maria – Iz laska th luv kitee. Kreg NOT iz feeling wel. Is soree he kant reply. I am havingz reeply foor u tu hav helpingz foor him. Kreg wantz me to be havingz of telling to u that he red coment but iz feelingz of tu much bad to reeply. Not onlee am I havingz of reeply but I am havingz of writingz BOTH blogz tuday – come! REED! Kreg an laska wil reeply tu all comentz.

Luv laska

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Lisa Maria January 17, 2012 at 5:50 am

Oh btw Craig… I think its really really sweet that someone who’s low in finances would pay to send his ‘free love’ all over the country (ies?) like that. God will surely bless your efforts! (Luke 6:38) …pressed down, shaken together and running over. What a great way to begin a new year!

God bless!

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Victoria January 17, 2012 at 10:27 am

Craig,
Just wondering…have you prayed about it? There’s where you will find your answers and lose your fear.
If God says do it, then do it! I’d buy one in a heartbeat.

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Craig January 18, 2012 at 9:13 am

Helow…
Iz laska th luv kitee. Kreg NOT iz feeling wel. Is soree he kant reply. I am havingz reeply foor u tu hav helpingz foor him. Kreg wantz me to be havingz of telling to u that he red coment but iz feelingz of tu much bad to reeply. Not onlee am I havingz of reeply but I am havingz of writingz BOTH blogz tuday – come! REED! Kreg an laska wil reeply tu all comentz.

Luv laska
PS he sez yes. he feelz to du – haz foor long tymz – but has skayrz stil

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Joyce L Gibson January 17, 2012 at 4:55 pm

Read your email; check your PO box.

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Craig January 18, 2012 at 9:14 am

OK :)

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A. January 17, 2012 at 6:10 pm

Craig, you know I have been preaching at you for a long time to make your things available for sale, and I am glad it may be moving that direction finally! I know things have to line up for it to happen. Still praying, then, that they do!

I am on the road again but PLEASE save me at least one of your love floppies! I have a feeling they may sell out. I would actually buy more If you end up with extras.

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Craig January 18, 2012 at 9:14 am

Helow…
Helow A. Iz laska th luv kitee. Kreg NOT iz feeling wel. Is soree he kant reply. I am havingz reeply foor u tu hav helpingz foor him. Kreg wantz me to be havingz of telling to u that he red coment but iz feelingz of tu much bad to reeply. Not onlee am I havingz of reeply but I am havingz of writingz BOTH blogz tuday – come! REED! Kreg an laska wil reeply tu all comentz.

Luv laska

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Mari January 17, 2012 at 7:52 pm

Just an observation, but when u think about it, can fear of failure be seen as a type of pride? It is self-focused. Maybe it’s a stretch? Don’t know, but it sure applies to me! I have been struggling with this same thing when it comes to my photography. Not at all comfortable charging ppl for it. But we have to get over that! I’ll be waiting to put order in for my calender…

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Craig January 18, 2012 at 9:15 am

Helow…
Helow Mari – Iz laska th luv kitee. Kreg NOT iz feeling wel. Is soree he kant reply. I am havingz reeply foor u tu hav helpingz foor him. Kreg wantz me to be havingz of telling to u that he red coment but iz feelingz of tu much bad to reeply. Not onlee am I havingz of reeply but I am havingz of writingz BOTH blogz tuday – come! REED! Kreg an laska wil reeply tu all comentz.

Luv laska

ps kreg sez iz brilyant – wat u sed – and sez to do this !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Mari January 18, 2012 at 8:51 pm

Hi Laska! Tell Craig I hope he feels better soon =)

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thefisherlady January 18, 2012 at 12:36 am

I would be honoured to buy one Craig!
Great idea!

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Craig January 18, 2012 at 9:16 am

Helow…
Iz laska th luv kitee. Kreg NOT iz feeling wel. Is soree he kant reply. I am havingz reeply foor u tu hav helpingz foor him. Kreg wantz me to be havingz of telling to u that he red coment but iz feelingz of tu much bad to reeply. Not onlee am I havingz of reeply but I am havingz of writingz BOTH blogz tuday – come! REED! Kreg an laska wil reeply tu all comentz.

Luv laska

ps kreg sez thaynk u

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Debbie January 18, 2012 at 1:28 am

Please do it . . .and get ready to make more things available for us! :) God bless you in this new adventure. :)

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Craig January 18, 2012 at 9:17 am

Helow…
Iz laska th luv kitee. Kreg NOT iz feeling wel. Is soree he kant reply. I am havingz reeply foor u tu hav helpingz foor him. Kreg wantz me to be havingz of telling to u that he red coment but iz feelingz of tu much bad to reeply. Not onlee am I havingz of reeply but I am havingz of writingz BOTH blogz tuday – come! REED! Kreg an laska wil reeply tu all comentz.

Luv laska

ps kreg sez u r best kind of frend

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