Love meditates on God

by Craig on March 2, 2012

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Six hours into the my 48 hour fast…
meditating on The Stations of the Cross.

In a Catholic church they’re on the walls…you can’t miss them.
But lots of Protestant Christians don’t even know what they are.

We Protestants miss out on much of the fabric of faith when we ignore so much of what came before the Reformation.

Anyway…

The First Station of the Cross.

Our Lord is condemned to death.

Pilate, the man who asked, “What is truth?”…
but had no intention to listen to Your answers…
and he judges…and I judge him.

But how often am I like him…
pontificating…pointing fingers…
asking You a question…
not wait for You to answer?

And I think, as I meditate on this station…
how important it is for us that our faith is based in history.

You, Lord, were there.

You claimed to be God…
God condemned to death.

It’s no fairytale we believe.

And I think about the choice the people made…
mob mentality…
incited…
deciding…
against You.

You weren’t the Messiah they were looking for

And I see slaves wanting it to stop…
afraid to say the word…


…because Rome has plenty of Crosses.

And I see Pharisees…
holding Scripture with one hand…
raising the other to condemn…
and I want to judge them too…
until I realize…
until I see…

…they…are…me.

And I think of You…
God of everything…
allowing yourself to be bound…
intentionally…

dying.

And I think of how Pilate washed his hands, hoping to cleanse his guilt…

and then how often I try to rationalize, and justify, and reason away my guilt.

You did not deserve to die.

I did not deserve for You to die for me.

And the 7th hour of the fast approaches.
According to the rules I can eat in an hour or so.

And I think I may…I may not…
hunger stirs the pit of my stomach…
I’m already weak from having pneumonia for a month.

A cup of tea, only, I think.

I want to keep fasting.
I heart this meditation.

I’ve been struggling with faith since I named this year “see”.

I want my faith fortified…

I need this.

7 hours into the fast…
hungry…peaceful…
life’s troubles all remain…
worries ensconced in shadows…
faith seems a good place to be…
comforting…
embracing…
eternal arms…
love…

and the eighth hour approaches…

there is more…please come back.

{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }

Katie March 2, 2012 at 8:05 am

Great insight. I do think that I am like Pilate judging so often when I should not be. It is humbling to realize my own sin and need for God to forgive me. I am grateful he has. I am grateful for all he has done.

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Craig March 4, 2012 at 8:28 pm

I’m putting this part at the beginning of each of the replies to the comments for this post. This way I only have to explain it once. My bloggy host company did a server upgrade – and suddenly I stopped getting e-mail notices of comments. I actually have to admit that I was kind of sad since posting this on Thursday that I hadn’t had any comments – or at least I thought I didn’t – because I hadn’t gotten any e-mails. ¯\(°_o)/¯ So I just checked so I could actually see the “zero” comments – and maybe have a little pity party. But comments were there – and YOURS was there – just sitting waiting for me to respond – but I didn’t know – until just now…

and the rest of this everybody doesn’t get – just you…

Katie, well, first of all, I guess Pilate really didn’t judge when he shouldn’t have. He was just doing his job. These Jewish people were trouble with their faithfulness to their religion and all – and he was in a difficult position – and he didn’t know our Lord – nor did he really want to – he just wanted the problem gone. He saw the injustice of it all – but it wasn’t his job to step into a religious fight. We should know better – we shouldn’t judge – I’ll give Pilate a break – we don’t get one – except for Grace – and that’s a nice break. God bless you Katie!

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bernadette March 2, 2012 at 10:43 pm

Lovely words and pictures. Thank you for sharing this and for visiting me over at freedom journal. It is good to walk together. So grateful that Jesus made a way for His people to actually do that. Amazing.

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Craig March 4, 2012 at 8:31 pm

I’m putting this part at the beginning of each of the replies to the comments for this post. This way I only have to explain it once. My bloggy host company did a server upgrade – and suddenly I stopped getting e-mail notices of comments. I actually have to admit that I was kind of sad since posting this on Thursday that I hadn’t had any comments – or at least I thought I didn’t – because I hadn’t gotten any e-mails. ¯\(°_o)/¯ So I just checked so I could actually see the “zero” comments – and maybe have a little pity party. But comments were there – and YOURS was there – just sitting waiting for me to respond – but I didn’t know – until just now…

and the rest of this everybody doesn’t get – just you…

Bernadette, you’ll find I heart pictures – I heart pictures tons! that’s one of the reasons I blog in this community of mostly women bloggers – men don’t do pictures! They should! Anyway, thank you, and I hearted reading you too. And we do walk together – I didn’t used to think that was a big thing with Christianity – but I have learned that it is – iron sharpens iron. God bless you Bernadette, and thank you again.

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Debra March 3, 2012 at 6:12 pm

I love your gourmet meals, served straight from the heart of you and God. You could fast and live on THIS bread probably. For these words and images have meat on the bones, meat one can chew slow and savor like a filet mignon.

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Craig March 4, 2012 at 8:35 pm

I’m putting this part at the beginning of each of the replies to the comments for this post. This way I only have to explain it once. My bloggy host company did a server upgrade – and suddenly I stopped getting e-mail notices of comments. I actually have to admit that I was kind of sad since posting this on Thursday that I hadn’t had any comments – or at least I thought I didn’t – because I hadn’t gotten any e-mails. ¯\(°_o)/¯ So I just checked so I could actually see the “zero” comments – and maybe have a little pity party. But comments were there – and YOURS was there – just sitting waiting for me to respond – but I didn’t know – until just now…

and the rest of this everybody doesn’t get – just you…

Debra, thank you. And I WISH I could live on just this bread only – but although we are not of the world – we are in the world – and in this body – we need food. Filet mignon is kind of wasted on me – I have extremely inexpensive taste in food – which is very good since I don’t have much money :-) I can’t take credit for the images – just the words – but I did HEART feasting on this man’s painting. The least favorite thing in it is how he pictured Jesus – but all the other details told such a story. Anyway, thank you Debra, and God bless you my friend.

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Michelle March 3, 2012 at 10:52 pm

This brings to mind the ‘inside outside’ I was reading about the other night when I was unable to sleep (from the book Stone Crossings). What is inside has shaped us and moulded us over the years, and we may not realise it is there. But it comes to the outside when we don’t suspect – judgements, prejudices, etc. BUT God (I love but God’s) changes us from the inside out.

Praying with you through your fast that you may be drawn closer to Him, and see what He sees (can be very scary) and allow Him to have His way.

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Craig March 4, 2012 at 8:38 pm

I’m putting this part at the beginning of each of the replies to the comments for this post. This way I only have to explain it once. My bloggy host company did a server upgrade – and suddenly I stopped getting e-mail notices of comments. I actually have to admit that I was kind of sad since posting this on Thursday that I hadn’t had any comments – or at least I thought I didn’t – because I hadn’t gotten any e-mails. ¯\(°_o)/¯ So I just checked so I could actually see the “zero” comments – and maybe have a little pity party. But comments were there – and YOURS was there – just sitting waiting for me to respond – but I didn’t know – until just now…

and the rest of this everybody doesn’t get – just you…

Michelle, thank you – I heart “but God’s” too. And don’t pray for my fast anymore – it’s done now – everything that I’ll be writing about is what TOOK place – there is just so much I want to share from it – and I’ll be doing so – but the fast is done – I’m gorging my fat little face regularly now. :-) God bless you Michelle!

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Rebecca March 4, 2012 at 3:44 pm

I love this, Craig! Now I want to fast, too (instead of knitting a gauge swatches and the like). I also love that God changes us from the inside out, slowly and surely, always faithful to complete what He started in us. :)

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Craig March 4, 2012 at 8:43 pm

Seriously! gauge swatches – the things I learn just by reading. :-) And oh, how HE does change us from the inside out – that’s such a good point – slowly, surely, faithful, patient. Thank you for that – and I think that the changes are slow for our benefit not his. I remember I had this crystal goblet that I loved drinking my hot tea from. It lent an air of class to my tea drinking. But it didn’t fare well in the dishwasher. I went through quite a few crystal goblets before I figured that they weren’t made for drinking hot beverages, nor for the extreme temperatures of swishy dishwashers. Sometimes I think if God were to teach us what we need to know – and do it all at once – we’d crack like those goblets – so as much as I hate it – I want all my changes right away – I’m glad he alters the way he does things just for us. Thank you for that reminder. And God bless and keep you Rebecca!

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Bluehost Test March 4, 2012 at 7:48 pm

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eric March 4, 2012 at 8:07 pm

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thefisherlady March 5, 2012 at 12:43 am

Craig, tonight while I was out walking on my trail I felt exactly these sentiments! I felt I must write it out but somehow know I must sleep over it first. So I came here to see how you are and I find your wonderful posting! My heart was so close to all this tonight… so pleased I came by! This was so beautifully presented. I will be praying for you through your fast and for your healing.

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Craig March 5, 2012 at 8:20 pm

first of all, thank you, and second, keep in mind the fast is over – there was just so much that happened during it that I’m sharing it. It was filled with mini miracles and little epiphanies. But you don’t have to pray for it anymore because, at least for now, I’m done. Thank you again Susan, and feel free to keep praying for my health, I can use one less bit of a ooposition – there’s been too much opposition lately – I can use a break. God bless you my friend!

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Lisa Maria March 5, 2012 at 8:10 am

Hi Craig… I have been on a sabbatical of sorts (floored by a nasty flu virus that left me with bronchitis and a houseful of sickies). So here I am catching up on my reading..not even sure if I’ll be able to write a post of my own, but very grateful to read those of others…and this one is food for the soul indeed!

There is indeed a very rich history behind the Catholic Church Craig and I pray that in meditating on these Stations (which we say every Friday in Lent and every Friday period if your personal spiritual journey has inspired you to) that you will be blessed. I know from my own experience when you’re as open as you are (or seem to be) the Holy Spirit works wonders. I’ve been in that place, where I’ve felt a euphoric sense of accomplishment…when I’ve conquered the flesh and feel like pushing myself a little more and a little more. I’ve done fasts that crossed over into 18 hours, once 24 hours. What wonders God works then! I’m sitting here so happy for you and praying you make it through!

God bless!

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Craig March 5, 2012 at 8:24 pm

about being sick – me too – a virus, then bronchitis, then pneumonia, so I get it my friend – I get it. Although I am protestant I have great respect for the Catholic Church. Keep in mind that my fast has concluded – as have my meditations upon the stations of the cross – so much happened, so much insight, so much inspiration, that I have to share it here – but the fast is done. Now I just get to pour out – and share. This fast was 48 hours. And I DID make it through. Thank you for reading what I’m sharing, and God bless and keep you Lisa Maria!

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Benjer McVeigh March 5, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Thank you for sharing this. I love meditating on the stations, and it’s something I miss from my Anglican days, where most churches had the stations depicted somewhere in the building, if not in the sanctuary.

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Craig March 5, 2012 at 8:27 pm

Welcome friend, and thank you for your kind words. I didn’t know that the Anglican church had the stations of the cross – I think, as with so many things of faith – we can ignore them to our detriment – or allow them to become rote – take them for granted. I think when things spring from the heart – whatever element of the faith it is – draws from that love – that’s when faith lives. Anyway, thank you very much for reading, and God bless and keep you and all of yours Benjer.

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