Love understands “I want to give up”

by Craig on May 23, 2012

Love understands wanting to give up.source

Love is about surrender…
but surrender to only the right One…
and only the right way.

I can tell you I know the right way…
not because I’m smart, or together, or brave…
but because I’m unwise, and broken, and timid…

and I’ve been lifted up…

after falling…

and falling…

and falling…

by Love…

by God.

The good thing about making mistakes is that they unwittingly reveal their own solutions.

I’ve been writing lately, all poetic and lovely and shiny allegorical, about getting through the storms of life.

But life isn’t shiny allegorical.
It works, but it’s smudgy and a little grimy.

We're all broken, grimy and need a little polish...source

But what’s smudgy and grimy…
can be cleaned and polished…

Not perfected…
not in this lifetime…
but better…
and usable.

source

And if you’re in a storm today, I care.
I hate that it hurts – but I don’t care enough.

Nobody does.

Well…Somebody…does.

I’m thinking maybe you’ve failed, and you don’t want to admit it, even to God.

Maybe it’s not you, maybe everything is fine for you.

But if it is you, I’m thinking you want to curl up in a ball and make the world go away.

I get that. I do.

I learned as a child that curling up in a ball made the beatings hurt less.

What we learn early sticks.

But I didn’t know then what we all can know now.

We can curl up in Our Lord.
And I’m not being shiny allegorical.

We can literally curl. up. in. Him.

God is a blanket…
strong and tough…
soft and velvety…

God is a blanket… strong and tough… soft and velvety…source

and big enough to cover every part.

God is love.

And Love?

It’s God first…
others second…
me (us) third.

That’s the way it should be in the giving of love…
and the way it should be in the receiving too.

And when it comes to looking for help it needs to be…
God first, others second, us third.

And if I want to give up, I need to give up…to Love…to Him…first.

And again, I can tell you I know the right way…
not because I’m smart, or together, or brave…
but because I’m unwise, and broken, and timid…

and I’ve been lifted up…

after falling…

to better…

by Love…

by God.

Oh…

and mistakes sometimes reveal solutions.

God first, others second, me (us) third.

There’s power in that.

God does not give us a spirit of timidity, but of power, love, and sound mind. (2 Tim 1:7)

It’s love in the middle of power…and sound mind.

2 Tim 1:7 - love's in the middle of that verse...source

Love’s in the middle of everything.

 

 

Sharing today with Emily…
and other imperfect people…

 

{ 28 comments… read them below or add one }

tara pohlkotte May 23, 2012 at 9:44 am

yes. this love. covers so much, and turns life in all sorts of new directions, doesn’t it? everytime i read your words, i feel your love. it speaks loud and clear in this space, friend.

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Craig May 23, 2012 at 11:56 am

Amen! love this kind of…everything. This is why I’ve got the two blogs – I can’t really separate them – and yet they’re a little bit different – they reflect my life – knowing God and doing love. anyway, thank you for your kind words – really, thank you. God bless and keep you Tara!!

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Janae May 23, 2012 at 11:26 am

I love this line, “It works, but it’s smudgy and a little grimy.”
It sums up so much for me.

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Craig May 23, 2012 at 11:50 am

Me too Janae – me too. funny – sometimes the words find the picture – and sometimes when I find the right picture, it changes the words. Here, the original words were smudgy, grimy, and untidy – then I found a picture of this watch and they changed to “it works, but it smudgy little grimy”. And that’s our life. No? smudgy, grimy – but by the grace of God cleaned and polished and working. Thank you Janae, and God bless and keep you.

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happygirl May 23, 2012 at 1:05 pm

God can cover us completely and love is in the center of it all. We just have to hold out our hands and accept. Why is this so hard to do when the reward is so great? Comforting words here today. :)

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Craig May 23, 2012 at 1:17 pm

Ahhhhhh – holding our hands out and accepting it! Such a good point! And then even one step beyond – holding onto it ONCE we’ve accepted it. I guess it’s so hard because we aren’t meant to be perfect now – the original design was perfect – but everything is broken now – including humans – I imagine later it’ll be much easier – but then – by then we won’t need to believe – because we’ll now. Thank you for your kind words – what you said about reaching out and grabbing the all enveloping love of God – really – thank you for that reminder. God bless and keep you!

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HopeUnbroken May 23, 2012 at 4:15 pm

love the cadence to the reading here. and the words–you’ve captured them all, it seems. beautifully said.
He is enough.
good reminders to give it all up to Him. He’s the only One who can hold it all anyway, right?
blessings to you this day,
steph

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Craig May 24, 2012 at 10:52 am

Steph, after realizing that I love writing poetry – but that poetry takes so much out of me – I seem to have settled upon the style that has a “cadence” – a sort of hybrid of poetry and prose. It’s the way I think – it’s the way I picture things – it’s turning out to be the way I blog. Thank you. And amen – HE is the only ONE who can hold it all. God bless you and keep you – and thank you again.

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Cora May 23, 2012 at 9:41 pm

I’ve been there, Craig — all balled up, hiding — and you are right, it seemed then that it helped it all not hurt so much. And I, too, didn’t know then what I know now. It took me a long, long time to fully accept that covering of love. I really loved your picture of the blankie, all soft and cuddly! His love is enough. Always enough. Even in the smudgy and grimey!!!!!

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Craig May 24, 2012 at 10:53 am

An “i get it” smile – that’s all – just that. God bless!!

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imperfect prose May 23, 2012 at 9:43 pm

I learned as a child that curling up in a ball made the beatings hurt less.

oh craig. i ache for this little boy. i want to know more about this time in your life, more about you… about what you’ve gone through. thank you. for being so real in this post.

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Craig May 24, 2012 at 11:11 am

In too many ways that little boy never grew up. there are some lyrics I know, “there are some in this world who have strength of their own…never broken or needing repair…but there are some born to shine who can’t do it alone…so protect them and take special care…

I have shared a little here in this space, since you asked, and ONLY because you asked, I guess this can explain a little… http://www.deepintolove.com/2011/01/13/love-knows-all-of-the-story-part-2/

even if you strike the hardest natural surface on earth in just the right spot – it splits in two.

…and if we aren’t “real” why bother blogging. No?

God bless you and yours Emily.

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Ostriches Look Funny May 23, 2012 at 10:09 pm

Dear Craig,
I get a tiny thrill reading your story of surrender, and your admonition to love and trust and surrender to God alone is what we all need to hear, what I need to hear. So many times we run to the wrong thing/person/idea. God is big enough for all of our hurt, and He loves us enough. Thank you for speaking truth in such a loving way.

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Craig May 24, 2012 at 11:18 am

in reading a little about the movie “the Wizard of Oz” I was struck by the fact that those two words written by the witch in the sky could have meant two things. I always thought they could only mean one. It could’ve been meant as a warning to Dorothy “Surrender , Dorothy” – or it could have been meant for the Wizard and Oz, Surrender Dorothy!

… And about the “thrill” – no worries, I know of that “thrill” that comes specifically from that small voice that belongs to a our big God.

God bless and keep you and yours! and thank you.

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Ostriches Look Funny May 23, 2012 at 10:09 pm

By tiny thrill I mean a thrill that reminds me of a small voice that belongs to a big God. :)

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Elizabeth May 24, 2012 at 12:52 am

I’m hurting for that little boy all curled up reading this, so glad you found the Love that is safe.

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Craig May 24, 2012 at 11:19 am

Only One love is absolutely safe – and even it’s fraught with danger – but…ultimate safety and care. No?

God bless, friend!!

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Caddo Veil May 24, 2012 at 6:12 pm

The line about how “what we learn early sticks”–boy, don’t it though?! Seems like I’m spending my golden years trying to unlearn the stuff that makes me keep up a tall fence…oh well, God and me work on things, a little each day, baby steps. He’s not goin’ anywhere, and tells me there will be plenty ’nuff time for what HE wants to accomplish–So I’m good! God bless you today, brother Craig–thanks for the visit!! love, sis Caddo

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Craig May 28, 2012 at 5:02 pm

“plenty ’nuff time for what HE wants to accomplish” I heart that Caddo! plenty ’nuff time. So much broken to fix – we just have to see with better eyes – and know that even though this lifetime is just a whisper – it’s only part of eternity – and when we believe in him – we are eternal beings. plenty ’nuff time. God bless and keep you, sister. ツ

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suzy May 25, 2012 at 1:58 am

“We can curl up in Our Lord.”
I really like this image!
Wonderful post Craig.
And I just wanted to apologise for not getting back to you when you commented on my blog to see if I was okay.
I guess I should check my comments more regularly :S
Have a great weekend.

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Craig May 28, 2012 at 5:05 pm

and to know this – to know this and STILL run away – still not just “live and breathe and have my being in him.” every single moment of the day – to go through so many large parts of days not talking to him – not feeling him – not experiencing him – to have that big blanket to curl up in – but instead sit and complain about cold. I have so much to learn – and then there’s so much to DO with what I learn. Thank you for being here – and know that you are missed when you’re not. God bless and keep you Suzy ツ

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Katie May 25, 2012 at 11:06 pm

Hi Craig, Been away from the computer to long and thought about trying to catch up, but just read the last couple instead. I love that we surrender and God surrounds us and protects us.

God 1st, Others 2nd, Us/Me 3rd……… Well I understand this, but as someone who always has placed others before herself, something God has shown me lately.

Love your neighbor as yourself —- AS —- equal to. I am to love myself as much as the others. I am learning it is ok to say no. It is ok to do things for myself before I do something for someone else. As someone who is so codependent that she always put others before herself, putting myself first is something that is very very good for me. It doesn’t mean that I don’t still put others first when God is telling me to. It doesn’t mean I don’t still have a servants heart and serve those around me. It does mean that I take care of myself as well as I take care of others.

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Craig May 28, 2012 at 5:12 pm

it sounds like you’ve been garnering some wisdom Katie. And you are so right – saying yes to some things means saying no to other things – so sometimes by saying yes too often we’re saying no too often – you know? It’s all balance isn’t it? It’s like when the oxygen comes down in a plane crash – and you’re with a child. We need to put the oxygen on our own face first – then help the child. A big problem in this life is that Love is so seldom reciprocated – in heaven there will be no balance in our actions at all – just love – full out – always loving – always say yes – but somehow – in the magical “God” sort of way – someone will always be saying yes to us. I think that’s how love works – and in heaven there will be only love. ツ God bless and keep you Katie!

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Ramblings by Carol Nuckols May 28, 2012 at 7:33 am

I’m glad you mentioned receiving as well as giving. So many people have a hard time with that. And yet, without a recipient, giving would be impossible.

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Craig May 28, 2012 at 5:16 pm

Carol, I’m so glad that you noticed that I mentioned both. I almost didn’t. I’m one of those who has a much harder time accepting love and help from others than the other way around. It’s pride not to accept help when it’s needed – it’s a pride that our Lord never knew – it’s a pride that we should reject. Love is not proud. Thank you for your perspective – thank you for making me look at my own proud, stubborn, “do it alone.” heart. Thank you. And God bless and keep you!

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Audra Silva May 31, 2012 at 11:41 am

Beautiful. Real. Gritty. You have such a way with words.

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Craig June 3, 2012 at 6:56 am

thank you Audra, thank you much, your words are really kind and gracious and I”m VERY grateful for them. God bless and keep you, and did I remember to say thank you? ツ

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